#and granted do i write on my multi anymore

[analyticallymindedaa]

me, w my (for the most part) Just Normal People ocs: wanting to write more w said ocs

also me: mostly following muses who Don't live very mundane lives, are frequently involved in shit

[titlemewickedwonderland]

Ghoul Game Night - Swiss

Summary: Y/n is Papa's newest ghoul! Summoned during a hectic time she never had the chance to really get to know her new pack mates. What happens when they drag her into a game night of truth and dare? Well, ghoul things!

Fandom: Ghost Band

Pairing: Swiss x Ghoul!reader

Warning: Crack, fluff, and cuteness, sexual tension, dirty talk.

Workshop

The bottle took forever to spin. Well, at least it felt like forever. Y/n swore that if she stared at it any harder her eyes would go cross-eyed. Resting in between the comforting presence of Rain and Mountain as they leaned up against the edge of the couch at their backs she was content to allow them to lull her into a sense of warmth and safety. She hoped she'd get someone good; maybe Rain? he seemed pretty tame in comparison to the others. Calming as he ran his fingers through her hair. Or Mountain even wouldn't be too bad - he was very docile and gave off an aura that was protective as he idly rubbed at her lower back to ease the tension. Like Aether, they had a good quality to them that put her at ease and she could already tell despite not fully knowing them they probably would be the pair she'd hang around often.

The bottle finally stopped spinning and she followed the nose towards a cheeky grinning Swiss who was all teeth and wiggling brows. Y/n puffed out her cheeks like a chipmunk and blew out a breath. Well, so much for her wishes being granted. Licking her lips she straightened up and squinted trying to not show just how nervous she actually was. Satan seemed to favor Swiss anyways; the ghoul had been trying to bed her for such a long time since she'd been summoned - she knew he was going to give her a freaking dare.

"Aw, looks like it's your lucky night, sweetcheeks." he grinned at her before playfully clicking his teeth at her. "Because I'm a gentleman I'll let you decide whether I read a truth or dare for you and to add icing to the cake, I'll do my half first." he offered

Y/n flushed slightly. "That's not very reassuring," she replied softly before biting her lip in thought.

She would imagine a truth would be just as bad as a dare if the girls had anything to say about it - which they did since they were the ones to write the slips of paper. But if she chose a dare and didn't like it...she could always take a shot, right? But would she be seen as weak if she had? Was that even part of the game or just an add-in to get them drunk or tipsy for later-night fun? Groaning she plonked her forehead against her up-drawn knees.

"Okay..." she breathed. "Hit me with a dare."

"Which leaves me with a truth huh? Alright, fair enough. Aether my man, hand those boxes over." Swiss reached for them both as they were slid across the carpet towards the multi-ghoul.

First, he dug into the truth box and unfolded it. "Hmm, alright. My truth is....What do you want me to do when we are having sex?"

Y/n gasped and she scrambled towards him to snatch the paper. "It does not say that!" she protested but as she flipped the paper over she read the words and winced feeling a heat hotter than Dew to creep up her neck. Her ears flattened and she looked up at Swiss who was eying her up and down.

Yep, that's it. She didn't like the Ghoulettes anymore. She swallowed and pointed to the alcohol. "Drink."

"Not your choice and not your truth, baby doll." Swiss smirked leaning loser. "What? Afraid of what I'll say?"

"You don't have to answer it..."

"Who says I don't want to?" Swiss suddenly reached for her and yanked her towards him before hoisting her up by her waist to straddle his thighs. Blocking her backward escape with his legs drawing up to pin her in place as much as a way for her to lean back on if she needed it.

Y/n yelped in surprise and gripped his strong shoulders. Her face heated up like a bonfire at their closeness. At this angle, she was higher than him so she found herself staring down into his dark eyes. His face was tilted upward towards her but even having the higher leverage Y/n felt no less intimidated.

Swiss seemed to understand the rise of panic that had to have been reflected in her eyes before his expression shifted and his flirty smirk softened into a genuine smile. He freed one hand from her waist to gently brush along her flushed cheek and bring her closer until they were pressed forehead to forehead. With his other arm, he tightened his grip drawing the Ghulah tighter to his chest.

The position seemed intimate - far too intimate for the eyes on them. She glanced to the side where she could see Aether and Dew watching intently as if holding their breaths for something extraordinary to happen and their stares did little to lessen the painful thuds in her chest. Swiss didn't need to be a quintessence like Aether to realize she was slipping.

His warm hand cupped her cheek to pull her attention back to him while his thumb brushed soothing strokes below her eye. All she could see were his eyes this close and it help ground her from the prying eyes of their packmates.

"Hey, sweetheart. Don't look at them. You're okay, it's just you and me, yeah?" his smile turned bright as Y/n hesitatingly nodded and squeezed her eyes shut.

"Just you and me..." his lips brushed against her cheek and making her sigh at the sweet contact; allowing her to ground herself in the moment. It was not as if the pair of them were getting naked to fuck in front of their pack mates. It was just...a dare. Right...the dare.

The rest of their pack watched intently as the multi-ghoul cupped the back of the female's head to draw it to his shoulder so that his lips could touch her ear. Aether and Dew had a perfect view of her face that flushed so hot Dew swore he could almost see steam coming from her ears.

Swiss was whispering something into her ear - too soft for anyone but for the two of them to hear in their own little bubble but whatever he was saying was seriously making them question Y/n's innocence with the different expressions that shifted on her face. Even still, she did not move away in mortification but instead wrapped her arms around his neck to hold onto him. She nodded to whatever Swiss said before drawing back.

He tipped his head back to smile at her while his hands ran up and down her sides seemingly content to just hold her for a moment longer. They didn't say anything to each other and instead, Y/n tipped her forehead to headbutt him gently earning her a warm purr of delight and a long leathery tail to wrap around her leg.

"Ahem...." Aether coughed into a fist. "Would you like to share with the rest of the class?"

"Seriously man! What'd you say? You were supposed to tell her what you want to do during sex! Spill the hell beans!" Dew's tail was thwacked impatiently on the ground.

Y/n shared a look with Swiss before the ghoul poured a shot and the female downed it with barely a wince of the harsh fireball going down her throat. She smiled and handed Swiss the glass before climbing out of his lap and going back to join Rain and Mountain.

As she got comfortable again Mountain leaned over to whisper to her with Rain leaning in too to listen to her answer as the three others bickered in front of them.

"So what did he say?"

Y/n smiled touching her lips thoughtfully before glancing at the pair with a cute little blush. "He said he wants to take me out on a picnic dinner later this week at nighttime to star gaze." she replied softly.

"Ah but that wasn't-" Rain began frowning and Y/n grinned sheepishly as she tugged on the blanket; pulling it to partially cover her fac as her voice lowered just for the pair of them.

"He also mentioned something about making love to me under the stars until all I knew was his name and the imprint of his cock. But not before he takes his time to make me see more stars behind my eyelids than those in the night sky and only then will he brand his touch into my skin so that his touch will forever be burned into my memory."

Mountain and Rain gaped at her in silence and then the tall ghoul snorted out a laugh. He bumped his shoulder against hers and shot her a wicked little smile. "Let me know if you need the Greenhouse. I'll make sure Primo stays out of the way." he winked

"Mountain!" Y/n yelped smacking him in the arm but there was a twinkling in her eyes as the trio burst into laughter together.

"Hey, don't get too cozy missy. Swiss did his truth...you, lovely. Still need to do your dare." Aether grinned over at her and the laughter stopped immediately.

"Oh shit" Y/n bit her lip but accepted the box that was handed to her.

Digging around a moment she picked a strip of paper and unfolded it. Instead of feeling embarrassed the female ghoul actually smiled as she read it once before rereading it out loud.

"Kiss me like Mary Jane kisses Spiderman." she looked over at Swiss who was smirking over at her with a crooked little grin.

"Kissing before our date, sweetheart? Man, you know how to charm a man." he winked before pointing at Mountain. "Come on big guy give me a boost!"

The earth ghoul rose to his feet and waited until the pair joined him. Only when Swiss gave him the okay did the tall ghoul holds his hands out expectingly. Swiss ducked in a swift movement to stand on his hands in a handstand. Mountain gripped his ankles and lifted him off the ground effortlessly. This brought Swiss face to chest with Y/n. Laughing a bit the ghulah bent over and grasped the multi-ghouls face and planted a sweet kiss to his lips. She playfully nipped at his top lip earning her a growl as Swiss playfully reached for her but she was already darting out of his reach and stuck her tongue out; a pretty flush on her cheeks.

"There! Now who's next?" she asked clasping her hands together.

Maybe playing this game wasn't such a bad idea after all. She did get a date out of it at least and Swiss seemed content enough as he was placed back to his feet. She rejoined her friends in their circle and shot Swiss a little smile before turning her attention back to what Dew was talking about as he grabbed the bottle to spin next. This wasn't at all was Y/n was expecting but she sure didn't mind it too much...not yet anyway.

Feel free to ask to be tagged for a specific ghoul or for the entire series! I would love some comments too! Don't forget to check out the workshop for future Ghost content!

[bardicbeetle]

WIP INTRO - Safe in the Dark

Oh hi, been a minute, I have finally gotten around to this:

(Image Credit - Ezra Chevalier - carrd - ko-fi)

Summary:

I will try to be concise, which is difficult with a project that has been ongoing for nearly half my life.

Alex Blackwood's first night in the supposedly safe, incredibly small state of Vermont starts with frigid wind and gunshots, and ends–somewhat confusingly–with bad coffee and a warm place to sleep.  Abruptly they find themself slowing down, staying in place when all they've done the last eight years is try to outrun nightmares and parents who aren't even looking for them.  The group that takes them in has its quirks, the nighttime schedule, the lack of any substantial food in the house, answering questions Alex has before words ever come out of their mouth.

When they discover their new housemates are a little closer to dead than alive–and that they're well on their way to becoming the same–their choices narrow to death in every direction.

Between an eternity of murder and a human lifetime of fear–was there really any other option but to stay?

Stats:

Genre: Urban Fantasy/Contemporary Horror (Vampires, it’s always vampires)

POV: 3rd person, Multiple POV character, usually contained to their own chapters with occasional deviation.

Word count/goal: 40k/95k

Draft: hopefully final draft, (Oh, you want a number? Eh, somewhere around 33? I’ve been writing this since 2011. I do not have the energy to count anymore.) It is the first installment of what I am now aware is probably at least a duology if not a trilogy

content warnings: vampire typical violence / mental health issues / mind control / hallucinations / body horror / familial + child abuse / murder / graphic depictions of violence / suicidal ideation / themes of depression, loss, and lack of control.

Character introduction posts to come <3

Feel free to browse the snippets that have already been posted using the Safe in the Dark/sitd tag.

/ Spotify Playlist / Tumblr tag /

With this post also comes the proper launch of my patreon! Which has been up but I did not want to promote it until I actually had an intro posted, and life has been really a lot this year. My patreon is non-hierarchical, meaning all the tiers grant the same rewards. I may eventually start running my fun mail through it again, but that is a project for a later time.

@cjjameswriting / @falling-rivers / @maabonwrites / @blve0 / @inexorableblob / @blueberrypoptart / @betwixtofficial / @drowsy-quill / @ezwriting / @ofinscriptions / @vaguelyhumanekid / @meatandboneasmr / @h-faith-marr-writeblr / @necros-writings / @poetinprose / @flyingbananasaur / @oldestenemy / @multi-lefaiye / @dotr-rose-love / @abalonetea / @albatris / @incandescent-creativity / @kaiusvnoir / @vampireposter

[mysticjourneys]

Changing My Format

So, I have been thinking lately that I may need a change of perspective and format. Lately, I have been losing my passion for the things I do. Feeling that I have been in a rut, doing the same thing and that has been affecting how I go about my daily life.

Things have been unfulfilling and I feel I have been chasing excitement, that new thing to give me some happiness. When I have taken what I currently have for granted. Instead of trying to satisfy a craving that will never be satiated, I decided to do what I enjoy with what I have. To bring back the passion and motivation I had to begin with by doing what I enjoy. Instead of spreading myself so wide with RPs, I could let those who I wait for replies on take their time and do productive me time.

Now, how does this involve you all?

Well, with a change of perspective comes a change of format. I plan to make a multi-muse side blog to hold canon characters that I feel motivated to write for, as well as a nsfw side blog to move all my lewd writings over to that one. This goes for all my current blogs. That being said, some are gonna be deleted, merge to the multi-muse blog, or be on a indefinite hiatus.

@defectedrockstar keep

@emerald-might hiatus

@bloodyshards delete

@chozos-hunter merge

My main blog will remain, I want to keep my OCs separate and I have gotten too attached to the Hi-Fi Rush community to stop Chai. My Deku has been feeling meh lately and I know I have met wonderful people through him but I can't always keep up and I am not sure if he would fit with my other muses. Since I will be going by a theme for my multiple muses.

Miriam, I have no passion for anymore unfortunately.

When this change happens, RPs will be dropped, some moved over to the nsfw blog, and others being completely fine. For now, I am taking a break and recharging but I will eventually incorporate these changes, as well as changing my rules and how I go about writing.

If anyone has questions or comments feel free to say something.

[ceeturnalia]

🍓& 🕯️

🍓 ⇢ how did you get into writing fanfiction? 

picture it, if you will. a farmhouse in the early 80s. a young girl is obsessed with The A-Team. she loves it when a plan comes together. wouldn't it be great, she thinks, to write a story about the A-Team outwitting the feds once again? and so she does. why she does it in crayon on her bedroom wall, however? we'll never know.

🕯️ ⇢ on a scale from 1 to 10, how much do you enjoy editing? why is that?

11. 15. 27. i love it so much. the writing is in the editing, man. writing is rewriting. i can't post WIP because i need a multi-draft process to be satisfied with a work of any substantive length. and i get off on it. this makes me so happy. it also makes me want to walk into traffic, but in a good way?

i don't do it often anymore but on LJ i used to write to strict word counts, usually with a prompt or two provided by my flist. by this i mean i'd have 10 people give me 2 words apiece and then construct the finished work as ten 200-word segments which also had to contain the prompt words. writing like that is almost entirely editing. it's an intellectual and creative challenge. like that really is what editing is about, or at least editing yourself is.

sidenote: if you can develop the skill of writing to tight word counts while expressing ideas in both clear and interesting ways, i guarantee you there's a nonprofit who needs a grant writer and they will be thrilled to turn your yaoi-honed abilities toward not going broke.

sidenote sidenote: one. hundred. fucking. words.

[twicearoundthebend]

fic writing update- am almost done with the first chapter of my rapunzel!gigolas au! so excited to be working on a longer multi chaptered fic, before my longest fic was three chapters and I already have plans for at least ten on this one !

it’s a mix of hobbit movies, lotr, tangled, general rapunzel fairy tales, and my own headcanons- very random mix but I’ve been having so much fun writing it. It’s a slow burn strangers to friends to lovers type and has lots of sassy back and forth, with lots of pining ofc. (plus thranduil doing the absolute Most to try to make legolas’ life better while making him absolutely miserable)

little snippet from the opening-

“My son,” Thranduil began, voice sharp, “you have defied me in every possible way. You sneak off, follow my captain- who was herself out of order, aid dwarves that should have been my prisoners, and on top of it all it seems you believe yourself in love. It is clear I cannot trust you to have free rein of the forest anymore. You’ve taken for granted the leniency I give to you, and it shall be given no more. You have tonight to pack your things. Tomorrow morning you will be escorted to the eastern tower. It was built as a safe house, and safe you certainly will be, but you are forbidden to leave it until I see you’ve learned respect. At least three hundred years. Do you understand me?”

-

aka Legolas gets out in massive time out and a dwarf has to come break him out and show him the true power of friendship

[obsidiangx]

I will keep complaining about Getter Robo High's translation status until someone does the whole thing or I die, whichever happens first. It's not terribly long as manga goes, and has high quality raws easily accessible online. It may seem confusing as to why I care so much about a manga I can't read, considering dubiously canon Getter spinoffs can be extremely hit or miss. Let's go over the bullet points:

"High" is a strange romanization of "Hai," a mahjong reference. Not only is this a strangely mahjong-oriented mecha manga, but the three main characters are adults. It is not in high school, as the name would imply.

This is the only Getter manga I know of that stars three women (rather than men) as the Getter Machine pilots. They are a feral gambling addict, a sadako-styled horror ghost, and a buff robot woman.

The robos are genuinely unhinged but rad feminized variations on the original designs. As a mecha fan I say this with my whole heart, these really feel like someone wanted to fuck the robot, and I love them for it. Speaking of which,

Drill Jill.

Back when I was a teenager, I read quite a lot of hentai scanlated on the internet platonically. My first tumblr was actually an immature, edgy and frankly nasty little hentai blog that I'm happy to have nothing to do with anymore. But that means that when a particular name pops up on the art for an official Getter Robo manga, I have a fun little story to tell you.

Drill Jill is a hentai author, first and foremost. I won't speak to his character, because I don't speak japanese, but know that he specializes in noncon (or "mind break" as the online hentai community would call it) manga. Specifically, he often replaces violence with sex scenes, expressing a battle or argument physically, with a clear victor and plot resolution at the end.

The thing that makes his name really memorable to me, however, is his paneling. Granted, some pages are difficult to follow, with the busyness of the art and complete irreverence for panel borders, but their flow usually remains intact. At times, it can really feel like every single page has something to appreciate and analyze. I haven't found another artist who does it quite like this, in any genre of comics.

I can't say for sure, but I'm guessing that Drill Jill was hired to do the art for Getter Robo Hai because of his multi-chapter genderbent Getter Robo doujin, in which girl versions of the three original Getter Machine pilots get into some situations i'm sure you can predict if you've been reading up to this point. But a love for more than just weird fucking bleeds in through the edges of each chapter.

Hopefully it's immediately obvious here: Getter 3 reaching for the third panel. The beam blasting through the entire second page. The sword cutting through two panels, foreshadowing itself. These are CONSECUTIVE pages. The ero scenes are over in this chapter, but so much was still poured into these moments.

It's a hard sell to recommend people hentai, much less this kind of potentially upsetting hentai, just to gush at its paneling and page composition. So I'd like to have something a little more safe for work to suggest, and a cool robot story as well.

Keep in mind as well that Getter Robo Hai is drawn by Drill Jill, but it is not written by him. Rather, the story is by Bingo Morihashi, the scenario writer for Devil May Cry 3, 4, and 5. I'm not enough of a fan of that series to really gush over it in this post, but that may be an interesting lil detail for u (;. It's the writer and artist together who make this comic what it is, and folks who don't speak Japanese don't have access to that right now.

If you still don't care, maybe you never will. That's fine, we all have our own passions. If you do care, YELL WITH ME, SPREAD THE WORD, RAISE FUNDS FOR TRANSLATOR COMMISSIONS, FORCE EVERYONE TO LOOK AT GETTER 1'S FAT ASS AND BANKO BENIMARU'S SHARK TEETH.

Thanks for reading! After all my talk about paneling and writing, I still would just really like to read a cool robot story about evil women. I think everyone deserves that. So I'll leave you on the last two translated pages of Getter Robo High as of this post. This is what we're missing.

[jessepinwheel]

🕯️🍉🌈

hi sorry for taking so long to respond to these asks I hate using the new tumblr interface

🕯️was there a fic that was really hard on you to write, or took you to a place you didn't think it would take you?

I think of all my fics, probably the one that went most off the rails from my original intention was probably dielectric breakdown. I think I've said this before, but initially it was meant to be more of a story about how obi-wan left and everyone realizes they'd taken him for granted, and to that end it was meant to be more of a multi-POV affair centering on obi-wan who was no longer there

but then I wrote the first few sections from cody's pov and I was like, fuck it, I'm just gonna do cody all the way through now. this is cody's story now. so that's kind of how it pivoted towards cody character study and all the other things going on with the clones, because dammit the clones deserve to have their own culture and endings that aren't just stapled to mandalorians

🍉in what ways has writing helped you process trauma and/or navigate through your own life?

idk man I just write fun stories on the internet where fucked up things happen to people because that's what I like doing. I guess it's kind of organizational because I spend a good amount of time articulating things that I think about in my stories but that's really about it

🌈is there a fic that you worked *really fucking hard on* that no one would ever know? maybe a scene/theme you struggled with?

I mean to be clear I work really hard on all my stories. my plots are really tightly written and organized and that's not accidental, that's a lot of work behind the black (and a lot of pages in my notebook). but also...when I'm done writing a story I'm not really thinking about that so much anymore. I honestly don't feel like any of my stories are especially more difficult to write than any of the others, some of them are just more work. if you break it down into small enough steps it's all about the same difficulty.

of the stories I've published, I guess asynchronous circuit and runner are probably the ones I've had to do the most work on, just because of the intricacy of the plot and the different moving parts. but also, like. I wrote most of asynchronous circuit in about two months and the writing felt fairly straightforward.

I don't know. I don't really find writing stories difficult. it just sometimes takes more time and work.

send me fic writer asks

[mashmaiden]

About Last Week...

So I debated for a while whether or not I was going to actually make this post, but I feel like my disappointment and annoyance needed to be a little explained.

Yes, I realize it was supposed to be a Callen-heavy episode, and knowing that the topic needed to be resolved I was not against that.

The thing that upset me more about the episode is the way it was executed, mostly writing-wise. And to be honest, I don't even know anymore how much that is the fault of our writers, and how much their hands are actually tied with scheduling and the episode appearance limitations.

A lot of my thoughts are similar to the ones I had post-Down the Rabbit Hole. The first thing I learned in my TV writing class, is your main cast should always be at the forefront, don't use guest stars to do the job of your mains. (I am STILL angry at DTRH for how anti-climactic that entire multi-season arc ended cuz Joelle just shot Katya with zero tension when no one was around)

It feels like it was written a bit generically like they weren't sure which actors would be there for the episode. Like, change the sniping analysis to the aftermath of a bomb, and most all of Kensi's role in the ep could have been Sam. When they have done this, I feel we lose the voice that has made each character special to us over the years. (Granted, this has been an issue all season, not just this last episode)

Back to The Reckoning. I loved the scenes in the mission with Fatima and Kilbride and our awesome office team (I loved them, but why are our main peeps not saving the day?!), but even when our baddie was holding guns on them, there was a lack of tension in the situation. Too much talking/explaining versus actually making me worry something might go awry! I guess I just miss the higher-stakes episodes of seasons past?! 🤷‍♀️

And on the topic of too-much-explaining, which again, has been a bit of an issue all season, onto the last scene. I was not a fan of Pembrook explaining Hetty's actions as he's just this third party who we really have no reason to trust. Obviously, a better way to end this plotline would have been an actual conversation with Hetty, so since Linda has not been able/available, I understand they had to figure out another way to do it. But I feel like in this case, even a letter from Hetty would have been a better choice for explaining her own reasonings. Or, they could have had Callen open that "only open when I'm dead" packet from Season 3... I'm sure there's plenty of newer stuff added to it by now.

Basically, I'm just frustrated at the effect the reduced episode counts for actors has had on the show as a whole. I think I'd have rather had only 18 episodes with everyone vs what we've got. It also worries me GREATLY for network television going forward, because it seems like at least CBS seems to be pushing this model on a lot of other shows as well. And that's after we hopefully push through this writer's strike (and whatever happens with the next two negotiation sessions too (actors/directors also have contracts up this summer).

Sorry this got long, feel free to ignore it.

[causalitylinked]

Not really drama-related, per say, but for context, this post was inspired by this recent confession and my overall two cents on the whole female muse debacle that the RPC seems super divided on.

To be honest, you will never see me making a rule that essentially boils down to, ‘If you can’t respect my female muses, you don’t deserve to write with my male muses’, because at the end of the day... if I pick up a muse, it’s either due to them actually being my favourite or I like them more than a normal amount, meaning I’ll always be thrilled whenever people express an interest in interacting with them, regardless of where they may fall on the gender spectrum.

Like, maybe I’m just coming from the privileged place of my muses already being from very niche games and how every muse I pick up is one I tend to autistically hyperfixate over, but I genuinely do not find it sus if someone ‘uses me’ for my male muses or follows me specifically for only one muse on my multi, because I just want to write.

And as someone who once forced herself to write/ship with female muses she secretly considered bland/uninteresting simply to fit in, I do not believe in forcing interactions anymore. Honestly, I’d rather people choose muses they’re actually interested in/can see interactions with rather than a random muse they don’t care for, but feel as if they have to interact with anyways because they’re female.

Granted, it can be argued that the overwhelming majority of my interactions happen to be with female muses anyways, but that’s only because I’m a big fan of the female ones I do follow, whether they be canon or original. Plus, as someone whose own female OC tends to get neglected because she isn’t easily shippable, I want to be known as someone who practices what she preaches by writing all kinds of relationship dynamics with other female muses even if mine isn’t interacted with in turn.

Seriously, I can gripe and whine about the RPC’s unfair treatment of female muses all I want, but it won’t improve the situation regarding them, so I just strive to interact with as many female muses as I possibly can, provided, of course, I genuinely like them. Oftentimes, though, this is done more so with my male muses rather than my female muses, but either way, my point still stands that I don’t really care which characters my mutuals would prioritize as long as they’re genuinely interested in them.

[kryptonitecore]

Re-Read: The Transformers: Monstrosity

So, if I thought digesting my thoughts about Autocracy was going to be tricky, then what about Monstrosity? It’s mostly the same creative team, but with an even larger scale story. I actually liked the multi-stranded narrative, even if the time-frame started to swim after a while, as the comic jumped from character to character and event to event. Megatron’s evil training montage on Junkion was my least favourite, but there we go.

Regardless, I was really happy to come across something addressing the exodus from Cybertron, as it’s the sort of thing that gets referenced a lot more than it’s portrayed. Merging storylines by having the Dynobots be among those who wanted to leave but didn’t have the resources was an interesting move, but I had some doubts about the execution. They supposedly have to leave Cybertron because their monstrous new alt-modes/rages could prove a deadly combination in a crowded place, but the reactions others have to their alt-modes came across as over the top: an Autobot character will be chatting to Sky Lynx one minute, then act as if Grimlock’s alt-mode is the worst thing they’ve ever seen. Granted, they look intimidating and a bit uncanny, but Ramondelli’s art style makes everything look at least vaguely sinister. The art also struggles a bit with facial expressions and it really shows up during argument scenes. The Dynobots bear the brunt of some of the clunkiest bits of writing, but no one is entirely safe from the art, though, not even Alpha Trion: 

Also, everyone is cast in perpetual dramatic shadows, so it seems that even the Convocation aren’t paying their lighting bills anymore.

Another thing that stood out to me was the prevalence of Quintessons. There’s been references already, like in Spotlight: Wheelie, and now Pentius is (briefly) occupying a mentor role for Megatron - seems a shame something more didn’t come of this, or at least I don’t remember the Quintessons going on to be a big deal in IDW1?

With Zeta gone, someone had to take over the role of irascible villain, and that honour has fallen to Scorponok. I’m not entirely sure what he was trying to achieve by blowing up the energon plant with himself and a large chunk of his own faction inside of it - it was certainly jarring, not helped by the assertion that the blast was powerful enough to kill thousands of people further away, yet every named Decepticon and Autobot survived. I found the contrast between Megatron’s order-and-dominance approach and Scorponok’s chaotic, pseudo-‘survival of the fittest’ approach interesting, but it seemed at points as if the author was trying a little too hard to make Scorponok seem a worse option than Megatron.

The real star of this book, however, is Optimus, now unceremoniously dumped from the role of enforcer into that of Prime and gifted the job of holding together the ‘Grand Convocation’, the replacement for Zeta’s ‘New’ Senate. Particularly, this book revolves around the conflict between Dai Atlas and Optimus. I was concerned at first that Atlas was just going to end up being a straw man for Optimus to knock down, but I think the author actually succeeded in challenging Optimus without undermining either his or Atlas’ characters too much. Both of their plans came across as having blindspots and limitations, whether Optimus’ inflexibility (‘I’m all out of concessions’) or Dai Atlas’ willingness to leave Cybertron behind and, with it, anyone not willing or able to leave the planet on short notice (Bulkhead raising the class implications of this was interesting…). Not only do I think this benefits Optimus’ character, I enjoyed the ideas this brought up about NAILS at later points in the continuity: are NAILS more likely to be religious or spiritual? Are they more likely to be from wealthier backgrounds? From Iacon, or at least close to it, is there a regional divide or a metropolitan/provincial divide? Starscream’s sympathy for their motivations also becomes interesting in light of him benefitting from the NAIL/neutral vote in the post-war elections. 

The art is divisive and there are some pretty obvious issues with the plot and continuity, but I am still enjoying these books and the way they fill in gaps from my reading of later works in this continuity! Time to finish the trilogy with Primacy. 

[akaashisupremacy]

Yours Truly

Summary: Having broken off your engagement for an arranged marriage with Gojo, your relationship is in shreds. As you and Gojo try to pick up the pieces, he wonders if you can still give him a second chance. Will you? 

Notes: Broke my heart in half to write this fic for Gojo ✌️😩

Gojo Satoru  x reader

Multi-fandom Masterlist || HQ Masterlist || Ao3 version

Genre: ANGST AND PINING, exes to friends to ??, commitment issues lol, some fluff if you wink (wc: 1.1k) 

“What are you doing here?” you exclaim in the dark, stumbling back at the shadow that looms in front of you.

You’ve bumped into Gojo Satoru in the kitchen commons. He’s fresh out of the shower, hair still dripping. His presence is definitely visible because it’s past midnight and all you can hear up to this point are the crickets.

“What are you doing here?” he looks accusingly at you with his eyes wide, “I live and work here!”

He has one hand on his hip and another on a mug of coffee. His reply irks you. He supposedly asked you out on a date tonight and he cancelled last minute for what you thought was a job that was just taking longer than expected again. Was he home all this time?

You were wary of Gojo when he asked you out recently. Not only was he your ex-fiancee, he also has a playboy reputation.

“I’m here to make myself dinner after a long day of working on the school barriers.” you sniff, “And I’m also here to ask why you couldn't  meet up with me. Again.”

You glare. He shifts uncomfortably on the doorway.

“Can you make up your mind about me? I know you want to fix things, but if you’re going to keep cancelling, might as well stop. We don’t have to date or hang out.” you scowl.

He pulls out a chair for you to sit down. “Let me make things up to you. I’ll make dinner for the both of us. I haven’t eaten either. Just got home.”

“Oh,” you remark. Ok, maybe he hasn’t been home all this time.

You quietly sit as he prepares a quick dinner for the both of you. He’s never cooked for you before. It was always you who did the cooking, granted you were arranged to be married when you were kids and you stopped talking as teenagers. It’s complicated.

You watch him put pots on the stove and chop vegetables up on your old school kitchen counter. It’s too quiet, too late, too dark in here. 

“I’m sorry I yelled at you.” you murmur.

He shakes his head.

“Your instincts aren’t wrong. Part of me wishes that us trying to date would end badly to prove that I was right all along, that there was no way this could work. But part of me wants to be wrong for once. I think you would like to grow old with me and all that stuff.” he admits, throwing vegetables into a pan without looking at you.

“This isn’t going to work if you’re just doing this for me.” you reply.

The sizzling of the vegetables almost covers up his next words, “It’s just difficult for me to admit that I have feelings for you, ok?”

“You’re endlessly kind to me and I’m the type to take advantage of kindness. I don’t want to drain you.”

You scoff, “I’m not 15 anymore. I have more boundaries. Give me some credit. You overestimate my compassion.”

As he continues to cook, his bandages start coming loose. His usual black cover for his eyes is gone. It must be laundry day. You stand to tie them for him. Your fingers are nimble, deftly untying the sloppy knots he put up in a rush and retying them firmly.

“You still remember.” he notes with surprise.

“You taught me. How could I forget?” you remark softly, returning to your seat and crossing your arms.

While he plates the food, he asks another question. The kitchen is barely lit. A single light bulb above the table is all the light there is. His shadow follows him as he moves.

“How could you still treat me like this?” he finally sits across you, words peeling with intense sentiment.

“Like what?” you ask curiously.

“Like I’m worth a second chance.”

You smile drily, trying to hide the pain beneath your eyes. You too wonder if he's worth another shot. Although your head knows that maybe he isn't, your heart says otherwise.

“I’ve accepted my lot in life, that I’m not going to deserve everything I get. Sometimes it’s just arbitrary.“ you sigh, “It sucks sometimes. I did get the short end of the stick, but I don’t want to shut you out of my life because of that.”

Gojo pauses with his chopsticks midway between his mouth and his food. He puts them down.

“You’re too much of a saint for me.”

“And you’re a sucker for that apparently.” you half-snort, half-roll your eyes. He can’t help chuckling.

His pauses then his face is serious all of a sudden.

“You know how Ieiri-san always jokes that I’m always a little in love with you? Well it’s true. I’m still a little in love with you and I grow more in love with you every time I see you. I don’t really know why.” His voice is a mix of bitterness, heartbreak and confusion.

You put your utensils down and reach out from under the table to grasp his fingers.

“I haven’t changed.” he hesitates to take your hand, his face ridden with guilt. He pulls away, “Don’t do this.”

You gently shake your head and indignantly keep your hands out.

“This isn’t about that. This is about being here for you, even if I'm not your fiancée. I’m here as just me.”

“How can you be so kind after I’ve hurt you all these years?” he asks, completely stupefied. 

“I came to the conclusion that you didn’t intend to hurt me.” you shrug,  “When you chose to be with other people, it wasn’t because you didn’t like me or wanted to spite me. It was because of things outside of our relationship: the familial pressure, the control and so on.”

“If it was just the two of us, you wouldn’t spite me. You have no reason to.” you add softly. He finally reaches out to hold you. His hands are not too warm or calloused. His fingers are slender and his grip firm.

Gojo is moved beyond words. He’s used to receiving attention and affection, but always in exchange for something: his time, his body, his power. You’ve never asked any of that. You give yourself unconditionally with all the tenderness you could spare, asking nothing in return.

What is this feeling? Hope? Redemption? Vindication? Whatever it is, it pushed him to look at you, quelling the sob rising in his chest.

How far you’ve both come. How far you have left to go.

After the meal, he insists on cleaning up. He turns to you when he’s done. You’ve passed out with your hand on the table. It’s been a long day.

Gojo shuffles through the nearby rooms for some clean blankets. He drapes one over your shoulders and readies to turn off the light in the kitchen. Right before he leaves, he catches a glance at you. He goes back to get another blanket and pulls out the chair in front of you and closes his eyes. He has a lot of time to make up for.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

I wrote this as a follow up for another Gojo x reader fic who used to be engaged. This is 3 out 4 so let me know if you’d like to be tagged in the rest of the releases! 😊

Part 1 || Part 2 || Part 3 || Part 4 || Part 5 || Part 6 || Part 7 || Part 8

Comment or message to be added to the taglist! :D

Series Taglist: @shamelessdonutsludgebanana @kageyamakock @shirostrbl @luvang3l @cloudsinthecosmos @httpjungoo @saturnki  @itstheee-ha-chan @gucci-froggy @cherryonigiri

[valentineforlemonandcherry]

Foxtail & Wolfsbane Part 3

Summary: Your lifelong obsession to hunt down the Nine-Tailed Fox has not gone as expected, and seventeen years later, you find yourself coming back to the place where it all started: Hogwarts. However, with Sirius Black’s escape from Azkaban and Headmaster Dumbledore’s hire of a certain Professor R. J. Lupin, you suddenly find yourself intertwined in the fates of those with whom you thought you had parted ways with long ago. [Multi-Post Story] [Rowan Scamander x Reader] [Remus Lupin x Reader] [Young Sirius Black x Reader] [Tristan Graves x Reader] [Severus Snape x Reader] [Warning: Story Contains Explicit Smut.] [Warning: Mention of Rough Sex.] [Warning: Non-Consent.] [Warning: Reference to Bullying.] *Note: Rowan Scamander and Tristan Graves are OC characters. *Please do not repost or copy my work without my permission. Thank You!

☾ Click Here for Foxtail & Wolfsbane Home Page (All Chapter Links) ☾

As soon as the taxi dropped you off and you entered your family home, your mother barked at you, “You’re home?”

You nodded.

“Good. Safe and sound?”

Nod.

“Good. Learned some – what d’you call it – magic stuff?”

Nod again.

“Good. Now go find a real job.”

You ended up working at a hot dog stand at the local baseball park. One week into the job and you were bored out of your mind. When your shift finally ended, you went straight back home and took a shower. When you stepped out of the shower, you noticed the parallel lines of soft, now-purple bruises running up both of your hip bones, from where Rowan had gripped you as he made love to you.

You sighed, and you quickly threw on an oversized shirt and got into your bed. You tried not to think about Rowan at all, but you couldn’t help except wonder if he was already off with his father, seeing all of those amazing magical creatures that you would only ever see in textbooks…

*    *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *

Your pride told you not to write any letters to Rowan. He was sure to be having a spectacular time, and you didn’t want to seem like you missed him more by writing to him first. But you knew that you were being immature. And after all, it was your turn to “go to him” first, as he had done for you these past six years. So, you tore off a piece of paper from a Muggle notebook and began to scribble on it with a ballpoint pen.

Dear Rowan,

If my handwriting seems more circular, don’t worry, it’s not an imposter. It’s still me. It’s just because I’m not writing with a quill…

*    *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *

A month passed. At night, when your mind was halfway to dreamland, you found yourself softly touching yourself between your thighs, thinking of Rowan. You hesitated, wondering if it was worth the effort to cum.

No, you decided lazily. Too tired.

Suddenly, you wondered if you were bad in bed, wondered if Rowan moaning in your ear about how good you felt and how warm you were and all of those things that he’d praised you with while he fucked you in the train compartment had just been him trying to make you feel better for leaving you. Sleepily, you frowned. Granted, it was my first time, and it was all so fast. I didn’t have a clue what I was doing. But what if… what if he found me so bad in bed that he decided to forget about me? He wouldn’t do that, right? No, he’s not that kind-of person. But it is true that I didn’t know what the hell I was supposed to do to make him feel good.

You sighed. This is ridiculous. I’ve never worried over this kind-of stuff before. Why now? Why now, when I’m supposed to be more grown-up than ever? Why now, when I thought I made it past the hormone-crazy years of being a teenager? Why now, when I still haven’t pinned down the most likely location of the Nine-Tailed Fox? Why now, when… when I can’t even talk to Rowan anymore?

*    *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *

On the last day of summer, you sat with your mother and your younger brother in the living room. You pushed all of the money you’d earned over the summer towards them. “It’s not much, but you should use it to pay the rent or put it in your college fund.”

Your mother was silent for a long while. Then, she said defensively, “Don’t tell me how to use the money. You know I’ve been paying for everything since your father left. I know how to stretch five dollars into ten. I’ve been doing it ever since your brother was born. You know that.”

You nodded, already tired of this spiel.  But you would never argue otherwise with your mother. You knew that she also didn’t want to be taking this money. It hurt her pride to take the money, even worse than it hurt your pride to send letters to Rowan without hearing back from him.

You looked at your younger brother, who was gazing at you with wide eyes. “Are you leaving us again?” he asked you.

You sighed and ran your hand through your hair. “Yeah, I am. I do every year. You know that.”  

You didn’t realize how much you sounded like your mother just then.

“Will you be at my high school graduation?” your brother asked you, a bit timidly. “It’s at the end of this year.”

You wondered if you should mention your own graduation at Hogwarts, but decided against it, and simply said, “Yes. I’ll be there. Take care until then.”

*    *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *

You hid how ecstatic you were to leave your home and go back to Hogwarts, not wanting to upset your mother or your younger brother, who you knew was still so disappointed not to have been selected for Hogwarts after you. Neither of you knew why you ended up having enough magical blood to go to Hogwarts, while your brother didn’t. But ever since that day where your brother didn’t get his letter, the bond between the two of you had been irreversibly changed. He didn’t hate you or anything, but there was a resentment bubbling deep inside him, not just because he was non-magical, but because being non-magical meant that he had to stay at home with your mother while you went off to a castle to learn magic for the better part of a year. And in your heart, there was that helpless guilt…

Needless to say, you were glad to return to Hogwarts. You packed your trunk, clipped your foxtail keychain on your backpack, hugged your little brother good-bye, and off you went, for your seventh year at Hogwarts.

*    *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *

However, as if to purposefully pop your bubble of joy, on the first day of your seventh year at Hogwarts, Professor Slughorn had the nerve to place you next to Sirius Black for Potions. How an idiot like Sirius Black even got into N.E.W.T. level Potions was beyond your comprehension. You immediately set up all of your course books between the two of you as a barrier, even though you were sharing the same desk.

Then, to really put the cherry on top, Professor Slughorn explained that everyone sharing a desk were year-long partners for Potion-brewing. Today, everyone was to start with concocting the Dreamless Sleep Potion. “All right,” Slughorn said, clapping his hands together. “Get to it.”

“Um…” Sirius’ voice wafted over your manmade barrier. “Any idea as to how we’re going to work together when all of your books are blocking me out?”

You ignored him, finishing jotting down the last of Slughorn’s lecture notes.

Then, a little wadded up ball of paper came flying over your barricade, bouncing off of your forehead.

“Ah, I see the elasticity of your empty head has some use,” Sirius commented, and you caught him peering over your books at you.

You scowled, and having finished with the Potions book, you put it right on top of the barricade, blocking out his eyeline once again.  

Then, a hand came around and poked you in the side. “Hey, what’s your problem?” Sirius asked you.

Suddenly, Slughorn’s voice sounded out from behind the two of you. “Is there something wrong here?”

“No,” you said quickly, not wanting to get into trouble. Professors already tended to dislike you as it was, so you always sought to minimize any chance of prolonged interaction with a professor.

But Slughorn, upon seeing your blue hair, paused, and when he saw the barricade of books that you had clearly put up between yourself and Sirius, Slughorn snapped, “Please, get rid of that at once. You’re not a first year anymore!”

With a sigh, you removed your barricade book by book, only to slowly reveal Sirius Black smirking at you. You held back your scowl as you pulled the cauldron towards the both of you.

“Without Scamander around to win back the points you lose for Ravenclaw, you’ve become a lot more obedient and a lot less rebellious,” Sirius teased you.

“Shut up,” you said irately. “Let’s just do the damn assignment.”

Sirius put his chin in his hand and watched you cobble together the necessary ingredients.

You looked over at him with an arched eyebrow, indicating, Well…? Aren’t you going to do anything?

Finally, Sirius smirked and reaching over, he began to uncap some of the Potions bottles. “Just so you know,” he said casually, “I barely scraped an E in Potions. I was right on the cusp of an A and E, but my examiner, Tofty, hates my mum as much as I do, so he bumped me up to an E.”

Your expression soured at this revelation. Damn old Tofty, you thought to yourself.

“I tell you this so that you’ll lower your expectations of me,” Sirius said, now flinging his knife about in a careless manner as he cut up the needed gurdyroot. “Most people tend to assume that I’m good at everything, but I’m only human, so I’d like it if - ”

“Spare me the speech, Black.” You cut him off. “Trust me, I am not one of those people. I don’t assume that you’re good at anything, so you don’t need to tell me to lower my expectations of you.”

Sirius paused, cocking his head a little as he continued cutting up the roots. “It’s true. You’re not most people,” he commented. Then, a beat later, he caught on, “Hey, what do you mean you don’t assume I’m good at anything? Why not?”

“Can we just -?”

“What? You think I’m a complete idiot?” Sirius realized, highly offended. The gurdyroot was now totally ignored.

“Black,” you sighed. “Just hurry up with the gurdyroot. We need to put it in now or else we’ll -”

“Name one thing you would be better than me at,” Sirius said defiantly.

“I’ll be much better than you at Potions if you don’t put in the damn gurdyroot right now!”

“No, you wouldn’t. We’re partners,” Sirius said impassively. “We’d get the same score.”

“Black!” you growled out loud. “Put in the goddamn roots!”

“Five points from Ravenclaw for foul language!” Slughorn said, tutting at you disapprovingly. A moment later, he peered down at your potion and said, “And zero marks for you, miss. Black, you at least were working on the gurdyroot, so I’ll give you half credit.”

Sirius threw you a smirk just then.

You were so furious you could have broken the gurdyroot in half with your bare hands and shoved it down Sirius’ throat. As it was, you growled ferociously and threw an empty flask at his head. It boinked off of the side of his head, thanks to his long black hair, but it shattered magnificently on the tile floor.

“That’s it!” Slughorn shouted, having had enough from you. “Twenty points from Ravenclaw, and detention!”

*    *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *

“Why d’you reckon she hates me so much?” Sirius mused later, lounging underneath the willow tree beside the Great Lake. James and Peter were leaning over the water, trying to spot a grindylow, and Remus was trying to work on his Transfiguration homework.

Nobody answered him.

Sirius pushed his head between Remus’ lap and the book he was holding, and blinking up at him, asked in an innocent voice, “Seriously though, why?”

Remus sighed in frustration. “I’m trying to do my homework.”

“Yes, but why?” Sirius asked, being very overdramatic.

“I don’t know, Padfoot,” Remus replied, savagely sarcastic. “Maybe because you’ve been calling her names for six years straight, or maybe it’s because you’ve thrown food at her multiple times, or maybe it’s because you’ve set loose a baby fox in her room without any warning…”

Sirius groaned and rolled away. “You’re no help at all, Moony.”

But just then, Sirius happened to see you striding across the grounds, clearly headed for Hagrid’s Hut. You were going to see your fox again.

“Hey!” He leapt to his feet and came after you.

You took one look at him and turned your shoulder firmly to position yourself away from him.

“Oi! Oi!” Sirius sighed. You had started to speed-walk away from him, and even Sirius, with his long legs, had to start to pick up his walking pace to catch up to you.

“C’mon, at least look at me,” he said to you. When you still didn’t let up, Sirius reached out and grabbed the foxtail keychain hanging from your backpack. He meant to tug at it softly, but with how fast you were walking and how strong his grip was, the keychain line snapped, breaking off at once.

You turned around. Spotting the keychain in Sirius’ hand, your eyes widened. “Give that back!”

“I will if you’ll just talk to me - ”

“Sirius Black, you arse, give it over!” you shouted angrily.

“I will!” Sirius said, flustered. He hadn’t meant to break it off, really. “I just wanted to talk to you - ”

“ – Give it over now, you son of a b - ”

“ – is your problem?”

“My problem? Oh, that is rich, Sirius - ”

“You’re treating me as if I’ve done some horrible thing to you – Oi!”

You’d lunged for the keychain, nearly barreling into Sirius. Only he’d seen you coming, and his reflexes were fast – curse him for being so quick, you thought in your head – and he yanked his hand away.

“I SAID TO GIVE - ” You grabbed at it again –

“ – IT - ” You managed to grab the tiny bit of the tail coming out from Sirius’ grasp.

“- HERE!” You tugged at the keychain as hard as you could.

“AH!”

“FUCK!”

You and Sirius both gasped, as the two of you simultaneously tugging at the poor thing made it go flying out of Sirius’ grasp and high into the air, soaring over the lawn in a strangely magnificent arc.

“No!” You cried out, running forward desperately. In your attempt to catch it, you kept your eyes solely on the keychain, not realizing that –

WHAM!

You screamed in shock as a huge knob of the Whomping Willow came down exactly on the spot where you had been seconds ago – only someone had pulled you out of the way.

“Are you mad? You’re running straight to the Whomping Willow!”

You looked up with wide eyes, only to see Remus Lupin clutching you to him in a surprisingly strong grip for one who looked as frail as him.

“C’mon, c’mon,” Remus murmured, as he pulled you away from the violent tree.

But you shook your head and dashed out of his arms. “I need to get that keychain!”

“You can’t!” Remus shot back, reaching for you again.

You deftly avoided his hand, leaping sideways. “I have to! It’s precious to me!”

“But you can’t because…” Remus’ hand slowly fell back to his side. His eyes saddened as he gestured behind you. “…it’s already gone.”

You whirled around, only to find the keychain smashed – the tail had been separated from the metal part of the keychain.  

“The Whomping Willow’s already smashed it,” Remus said sorrowfully.

“I’ll still take the pieces,” you said bravely, and started to walk forward.

The tree sensed you coming, however, and Remus had to leap forward and pull you back to narrowly avoid your foot getting smashed by the tree’s wild branches.

“Moony, what’re you doing? Get out of here!” Sirius had joined the two of you and, being much stronger than either of you, he yanked you both back easily, pulling you and Remus out of range from the tree.

At seeing Sirius Black, all of your anger burst forward. You shoved Remus aside, and grabbing Sirius’ collar with both hands, you yelled at him, “YOU’RE A RIGHT BASTARD, YOU KNOW THAT? GO STRAIGHT TO HELL!” Then, you slapped him sharply across the face. Sirius stumbled back from you, shocked.

People were beginning to gather around you and Sirius. Somebody called out loudly, “Well, she’s finally lost her marbles!”

Another person wondered aloud, “Why slap someone when you could hex them? What’s the point of magic then?”

But you were already gone, storming back up to the castle. You didn’t notice Sirius’ flabbergasted expression as his eyes followed you all the way back up to the castle, nor did you see the pained guilt in Remus’ eyes as he looked back over his shoulder to see your favorite keychain all smashed up by the Whomping Willow.

James and Peter came up to Sirius. James reached out and turned Sirius’ head in his hand to examine Sirius’ cheek. James let out a low whistle. “You’re smartin’ red there, Pads. She’s got a hell of a slap.”

“What’d you do to her?” Peter wondered.

“I didn’t do anything. I just wanted to talk to her,” Sirius said. Then, he reached up to touch his cheek, only to wince when his cool fingertips grazed his burning cheek.

James clucked his tongue and said wisely, “Well, Pads, you shouldn’t have pushed her like that. Women only talk when they want to talk. Lily’s that way, too.”

“Oh, and now that you’re dating Lily, suddenly you’re an expert on all women?” Peter snorted. “You can’t group women into a group like that, Prongs. It’s not right. Plus, it took you damn near seven years to woo one woman, so can we really say that you’re qualified to give Sirius advice?”

“Yes,” James said easily, not in the least bit offended. “Because I’m at one and Sirius is at zero. Right, Pads?”

Sirius merely shook his head.

“Aw, lost for words, our poor puppy,” James cooed at Sirius, while reaching over to give Sirius a scratch under his chin.

“I’m not a real dog, Prongs,” Sirius muttered. He jerked his head back to pull away, only to wince a moment later as the stinging in his cheek became decidedly worse.

“C’mon,” James said, pointing his thumb up the lawn and to the castle. “Let’s get you a Soothing Balm.”

“You can whip up a Soothing Balm?” Peter said, awed. “But Healing Potions are beyond N.E.W.T. level…”

“I can’t. Lily can,” James replied, grinning. With that, he began to lug Sirius up the grounds.

Peter turned around. “Moony? You coming?”

“Uh, yes, just… just go on without me,” Remus murmured.

“You sure?” Peter cocked his head to the side, confused.

“Yes, I – I forgot my book under the tree,” Remus made up lamely. He coughed slightly. Then, he said, “Go on, Worm, I’ll catch up soon enough.”

Peter shrugged and turning away, he ran as fast as his short legs would carry him to catch up with James and Sirius.

When James saw Peter coming, he asked, “Where’s Moony?”

Peter replied, “Dunno. I think he wants to be alone for a bit.”

“Probably cause it’s the full moon tomorrow night,” Sirius said sagely. “He always wants to be alone around now.”

*    *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *

You were sitting in your secret space, staring out of the window that took up nearly an entire wall of the tiny attic-like room.  

It had been three days (the weekend) since that incident with Sirius and the Whomping Willow. Now, on Monday morning, you decided to skip Potions and hide out in your spot. But instead of madly drawing out maps of where the Nine-Tailed Fox might be, you simply traced your maps and drawings on the walls with a tired and hesitant finger.  It wasn’t about the keychain, really. It was about that person. Rowan.

*    *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *  

For Remus Lupin, the day after the full moon was always the worst. The transformation always wreaked havoc on his slender frame, and Madam Pomfrey’s treatments could only do so much to prevent the aches and chills from dragging Remus under.

Fortunately (or unfortunately, depending on how you saw it,) Remus had not made it to N.E.W.T-level Potions. Really, it had been amazing that he had passed Potions at all since your fourth year. However, the Gryffindor common room was annoyingly loud and rather foul-smelling today, as James had accidentally dropped a Dungbomb while racing off to Potions. The Dungbomb, of course, had been intended for Snape.

Anyways, what with the resulting mess and chaos, Remus’ headache became significantly worse, and so he tried to escape the common room. The hallways, however, were crammed with students and professors alike trying to get to class. Finally, Remus found himself heading towards a quiet tower – Ravenclaw Tower. He meandered up the staircase a little ways, then decided to turn back rather than hike all the way up to Ravenclaw common room only to turn back anyways (he certainly had no intention of going into the Ravenclaw common room), when he heard a couple Ravenclaw students complaining as they came back up the stairs.

“You always forget your textbook, dummy.”

“I know.” A sigh. “I’m sorry. Just wait one second. I’ll run up.”

Remus groaned internally. The last thing he wanted to do was to have to make conversation with strangers. His head whipped back and forth to find a spot to disappear, too, and then he saw it: as though in answer to his prayers, he spotted a tiny, rickety line of steps leading up to who-knows-where. Remus quickly ducked his head and made his way over, climbing up the stairs very carefully, fearful that they might give out from under him.

*    *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *  

When you suddenly saw the head of a very tired-looking Remus Lupin emerging from the staircase into your hiding spot, you started out of your half-hearted tracing daze. Remus, upon seeing you jump, also started, and his foot nearly slipped back on the narrow stairs. You leapt forward, though on your knees (because the ceiling was so low) and managing to catch him by the wrists, you dragged Remus forward. With some effort, you managed to pull him up and through the hole-like entrance that led up to here.

“No,” Remus said feebly, “I – I can do it, um…”

But you were busy yanking at him and by the time he’d finished his weak protests, you’d already pulled him through.

You let go of him and slid back from him, giving him space to breathe. “Are you okay?”

“Yes, I’m fine. Er - I didn’t think anyone would be here,” Remus mumbled, straightening out his knitted jumper. You caught the patches holding together the sleeves. “Sorry to intrude.”

You merely shook your head, staring at him curiously.

But Remus was gazing with even more curiosity at the walls of this small space. “What is all this?” he wondered aloud.

“Just a little project of mine,” you replied quietly.

“This is… Hm…” Remus’ eyes flashed as he recognized what you were searching for. “You’re searching for the Nine-Tailed Fox?”

You slowly nodded. “You’ve heard of it?”

“Hasn’t everyone?”

“Oh,” you said, disappointed. “I didn’t mean as a mere myth. I meant as a true magical creature.”

But Remus said easily, “That too.”

You perked up at once. I thought Rowan and I were the only ones to take the Nine-Tailed Fox seriously, and Rowan only a little.

Remus, seeing your expression, explained quickly, “I’m not saying I’ve ever seen it in person or anything. But my father, well, he studies Non-Human Spirituous Apparitions for a living. Mostly, he deals with boggarts and poltergeists, but there are those rare few that are both spirits and animals…” His voice trailed off when he noticed how bright your eyes had become.

There was a pause, as you watched him eagerly for more. But Remus only cleared his throat a bit pathetically and fell silent.

However, you broke the silence by announcing grandly, “I’m going to be the first one to see it again. The Nine-Tailed Fox. Straight after Hogwarts, I’m going. You’ll hear of me, Remus Lupin – the first witch or wizard to see the Nine-Tailed Fox in over a thousand years.”

Remus gave you a soft, trusting smile. “I’m sure you will be. And it’ll be lucky for the Nine-Tailed Fox, too, if you find it first, as opposed to a hunter or a magizoologist wanting to capture it to become famous or rich. I remember that little fox you took to Hagrid’s. It liked you a lot, and you were very gentle with it. You’re very good with animals.”

You hesitated. Wait, Lupin isn’t going to make fun of me?

“Really? You believe me?” you heard yourself say. “Most people think I’m out of my mind for even thinking about it. And they don’t know about all of… this.” You gestured at the walls covered with papers.

“Well, if you’re going to be the first person in a thousand years to see the Nine-Tailed Fox, don’t you think you have to care a lot more than anyone else about it?” Remus asked, as though it were the most natural thing in the world.  He was still smiling softly at you.

Strangely, something about his smile, which was so very gentle, made you feel small and embarrassed. You turned away from him a little, pulling your knees to your chest.

But then, behind you, Remus said softly, “So that’s why you always wore that keychain…”

You looked over your shoulder at him. That warmth in your chest from his kind words and smile were fading away quite quickly at the mention of the keychain. A bit forlornly, you muttered, “I wish you’d let me get my keychain before the Whomping Willow got to it.”

Remus frowned. “I couldn’t let you get hurt, though.”

You paused, still a bit angry, but unsure of how to respond to Remus’ straightforward, and once again, kind remark. Finally, you said, “I appreciate the kindness, but it was none of your business.”

“That’s not entirely true,” Remus suddenly whispered, and he sounded miserable. He sighed. “It’s my fault, really, that your keychain broke the way it did.”

His remark puzzled you. What does Remus Lupin have to do with the Whomping Willow? But then, you realized, oh, no, not the Whomping Willow, silly, with Sirius. Of course.

Snorting, you said, “It’s not your fault your friend is a complete and total asshole. Of course, I do think that by this point, you just shouldn’t be friends with Black, Lupin.”

Remus gave you a pained smile. “Sirius is not all bad, you know.”

Your expression soured. “He’s always been nothing but a prick.”

“Well…” Remus shrugged. “He’s my friend.”

“That’s my point,” you retorted, annoyed.

Remus hesitated. Then, he asked you, “Will you be here tomorrow, too?”

You gestured at the walls, overflowing with tacked-on papers. “I’m always here, Lupin.”

*    *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *

Remus felt proud of himself, for the first time in a long time, as he climbed the staircase back up to your spot the next day. In his cardigan pocket, he had your foxtail keychain, which he’d managed to piece back together with magic after collecting the broken pieces off the ground. He’d barely avoided the Whomping Willow at some points, and people thought he was crazy to be dancing around the tree like that, but he didn’t really care. She’s going to be so happy to see this, Remus thought, crawling up into your space.

Remus paused when he saw you. You were sitting on the floor with your legs bent up and crossed in front of you, with one arm wrapped around your legs, and the other hand reaching out to gently trace an ancient map. With the way the sun was coming in through the window, you were all lit-up from the back, and your blue hair suddenly made you look as though you were some mythical creature yourself. Then, you turned and the illusion faded, but Remus still had to swallow hard when he felt your dark eyes fall on him.

“Hello there, Lupin. Are you stuck?” you asked him, amused.

Remus shook his head. He reached up and pulled himself through.

But what Remus didn’t realize was that now, the light was shining on his face and his front. Your eyes traced up his frayed cardigan, all patched up, just like his jumper yesterday, and you noted that the jumper’s over-long sleeves gave Remus sweater paws. Then, because of those sweater paws getting caught between his palms and the floor as he pushed himself up, the collar of his jumper had been yanked down a little in the front, and you could make out a thin, white, and long crescent-shaped scar right under his collarbone. Just below that, you thought you could make out what was either a low-cut white shirt or long white bandages wrapped around his upper chest…

Remus saw you frown. Following your gaze, he looked down. Seeing his scar, Remus grimaced and quickly pulled up his shirt. But you’d already seen enough to ask him, “Lupin, are you hurt?”

It was Remus’ turn to frown. “No, I’m not hurt,” he replied quietly, avoiding your gaze. His feeling of pride quickly bled out, leaving him feeling vulnerable and pathetic in front of you.

“Oh.” The word fell awkwardly from your lips, as you clearly did not believe him.

“Yes,” Remus said quickly, trying to sound confident.

“Well…” you returned, not wanting to press him, but also still not buying it.

Boy, Remus thought, chewing on his own lower lip, are we master conversationalists or what?

“Um, you know, I visit our fox often at Hagrid’s. Hagrid’s really nice. He teaches me all sorts of stuff about taking care of all species of animals, not just foxes. But you could come with me next time, if you want…” you said uncertainly.

“Sure. Though I don’t think that fox liked me very much,” Remus replied, still a bit awkwardly. He was touched by the fact that you called that fox “our fox,” and he wasn’t quite sure how to respond to that.

“Anyways,” you continued, “I also wanted to say that I was sorry for being ungrateful to you yesterday. Whatever the reason, you made sure I didn’t get hurt. I should have said thank you instead of getting annoyed. It’s just that… that keychain meant something to me.”

“Oh, speaking of,” Remus began, and with an elated feeling in his heart, he reached into his pocket to grasp the little keychain in his hand. He started to pull it out when you murmured, while looking over at the maps on the wall, “But maybe it’s a good thing that I lost it, after all.”

Remus’ hand stuttered to a stop, with his palm barely clearing the opening of his pocket.

Yeah, you thought, softly tracing the line marked on the map, which led deep into a forest in Japan. Rowan hasn’t sent me a single letter or anything since we said good-bye at King’s Cross. I’ve written him a few letters here and there over the summer, but… nothing. The last traces of him left in my life were the bruises he left on my hips and that keychain. So, obviously…

“It was time for me to move on,” you murmured aloud.

“Move on?” Remus repeated, his brow furrowed. “You mean from your project?” He looked over the walls as well, and he found it near impossible to imagine that you were anywhere near moving on from your search for the nine-tailed fox.

But just then, you sighed and turning away from the wall, you clarified, though still a bit vaguely, “I was talking about a person, not the Nine-Tailed Fox…”

“Ah. Scamander.” As soon as Remus said Rowan’s name, he blushed furiously. Oh Merlin, why in the world did I let that slip out? I said the worse possible thing, didn’t I? Remus winced when he felt your gaze narrow slightly at him.

“Sorry,” he bleated out.

You held your stare for a moment longer, and then dropped your gaze to the floor. You shrugged. “It’s fine. I suppose it’s rather obvious. He was my only friend, after all.”

“I didn’t know that,” Remus said, trying to backtrack and cheer you up. “I wouldn’t be surprised if you had a lot of friends - ”

This time, you shot him a proper glare, and Remus knew to shut up at once.

“Okay, maybe not,” he confessed. “But what’s wrong with wanting to be alone?”

“I don’t know. I’m the last person you should ask that to,” you responded quietly. “In my mind, nothing’s wrong with being alone – or at least, that’s what I thought for a long time. Then, somebody showed me otherwise, only he left right after showing me that.” You sighed. Then, shaking your head, you said, in a firmer voice, “Never mind. This is complete bollocks, isn’t it? I have better things to do than whine about what’s past.”

Remus pieced it all together in his mind just then. Just before Rowan left, they must have promised each other something, or something happened where she suddenly opened up to him, and now, he’s gone… Slowly, Remus’ fist, still buried inside of his cardigan pocket, opened back up, and the keychain fell from his hand back to the bottom of his pocket.

Instead, Remus said, “Hey, are you hungry?”

“Starving,” you replied at once. “I overslept and missed breakfast.”

“Yeah. Me, too.”

You looked up at him. “Why do you ask?”

“Well.” Remus looked over at you with a bright, mischievous look in his eyes. “Have you ever snuck into the Hogwarts kitchens?”

You shook your head.

“No? Then you’re in for a treat. C’mon.”

*    *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *

Your eyes widened when you saw Remus tickle the pear in the fruit painting, only to have the painting open up to lead into – the Hogwarts kitchen. Your mouth fell open when you saw all of the house elves rushing to and fro. They seemed to know Remus quite well, however, for as soon as they saw him, they piled chocolates upon chocolates upon chocolates on him.

“Oh, that’s quite enough – er, yes, thanks,” Remus said, flustered, as his arms were now struggling to contain the mounds of chocolate he’d just gotten.

You laughed at the sight of him, swaying a little while trying to keep the chocolates balanced.

“And what does miss want?” A house elf peered up at you, waiting for you order.

“Hm…” You thought about it for a moment. Then you said politely, “Pears, please.”

*    *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *

You and Remus giggled as you climbed the rickety and narrow stairs back up to your secret hiding space.

“Professor Faure’s going to be terribly angry with us for skipping out on Defense against the Dark Arts,” you said, breathing a bit harder thanks to your jostling with the pears as you pulled yourself up to your spot. You helped Remus with his chocolates before pulling him back through.

Your smile faded slightly when you saw him cringe, as though the act of pulling himself up was hurting him badly. But you decided not to mention it, just as Remus had decided not to press on your slip-up about Rowan.

“But then again,” you mused, as you sat back happily and bit into a delicious golden pear, “you are the best in Defense against the Dark Arts, so maybe I’ll wrangle you into helping me catch up.”

Remus paused at your comment. “Huh? You think I’m good at Defense against the Dark Arts?”

“Yeah,” you said easily. “Of course you are. You were the first in our year to cast a Patronus, remember? And half of us still can’t do it – including me. You were very good with Dark Creatures too, now that I think about it…”

Remus blinked up at you in surprise. You noticed that a single soft, light brown (almost blonde-looking) curl had fallen in front of his face. You could tell just from looking at the shape of the curl that it was stubborn and must frequently fall forward onto his forehead. Without thinking much about it, you leaned over and pushed that curl back from Remus’ face.

Remus didn’t start or anything, but his eyes widened ever so slightly when he felt your fingertips gently graze over his forehead.

Wow, his hair is so soft. Feels like a piece of cloud, almost. You felt yourself smile a little. The softness of his hair, paired with the soft confusion all over his face as he stared at you, was quite funny and rather endearing. Reaching down, you plucked a chocolate out of his hand, unwrapped it, and stuck it into his mouth.

Remus kept his eyes on you, though he looked almost wary, as he finally chewed a few times and then swallowed the chocolate.

“Must be annoying,” you commented lightly, “having your hair in front of your face all the time.”

“You get used to it,” Remus replied, matching your nonchalant tone. But he found himself thinking that the lingering taste of chocolate on his tongue had never tasted sweeter. “I honestly just let it stay in front of my face most of the time.”

“Well, but I can’t see your eyes that way,” you stated matter-of-factly.

However, your very factual statement suddenly caught Remus off guard. No one’s ever wanted to look into my eyes before, or cared much about what expression I was wearing. James and Sirius and Peter and I, we all know each other so well, but it’s not based off of things like that. Remus abruptly felt very vulnerable in front of you, but he knew that he was stupid for feeling this way over a very straightforward comment, so he merely offered, in a somewhat meek voice, “I’ll help you with your Defense against the Dark Arts lessons, then.”

You gave him a bright smile before pressing the pear to your mouth again, and all at once, Remus had an intense curiosity as to exactly how sweet that pear might taste.

*    *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *

Remus kept his word, and he came back up the next evening to help you with your homework. You found yourself mesmerized by what a great teacher he was. His calming demeanor, paired with his extensive knowledge on the subject, made him a truly excellent mentor. In return, you helped him with Herbology and Astronomy, two subjects you had mastered so that when you began your hunt for the Nine-Tailed Fox, you would know which plants could sustain and heal you, and which stars would guide you home.

You both took a break for dinner, and afterwards, you quickly stole down to Hagrid’s just before curfew to go say hi to the fox. Remus was right – the fox didn’t like him very much. But if the fox was resting in your arms, Remus could touch the fur on her back and pet her softly without the fox getting upset.

“She’s very soft,” Remus whispered to you.

You nodded.

“And she’s quite a bit bigger than she was when we er – got her.”

You looked up at Remus. “Got her?” you repeated wonderingly.

Remus forced a pained smile that almost made you laugh.

When Remus saw your shoulders shiver slightly as you held back your laughter, he looked over at you, and your eyes met. After a moment, you both laughed quietly.

Then, you carefully handed the fox back to Hagrid. “She’s sleeping now.”

“She always does tha’ in yer arms,” Hagrid noted, smiling gruffly at you. “Now, the two of you should go back. It’s almos’ curfew.”

“Yes,” you agreed. “Good night, Hagrid.”

Remus raised his hand from behind you. “Night, Hagrid.”

*    *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *

You and Remus headed back up to your spot, stopping by the kitchens to get more chocolates and pears on the way.

As the two of you finished up your essays, Remus mentioned, “So, Sirius keeps asking me if it was his fault that you aren’t going to Potions.”

You made a face, and your quill kept scratching away at the parchment in front of you.

Remus watched you carefully for a moment. “He is sorry, you know. He’d say so if only you gave him a chance.”

“I don’t want to give him a chance, Lupin,” you replied at once. “The bastard’s made my life hell all of these years.”

“I’m not saying he hasn’t. I know how insensitive he can be, and he certainly has been with you,” Remus agreed with you gently. “But he just wants to apologize.”

You remained silent and stone-faced.

Finally, Remus said, “All right, well, maybe I should have brought this up before I vouched for Sirius, but, um, would you mind very much if I came here to your spot every month or so? I don’t want to intrude on your space at all, so if you don’t want me here, that’s fine, but I just find it nice and quiet here.”

“You’re welcome here whenever you want,” you replied, still a bit stiffly. “You don’t have to ask for my permission, and you can be here when I’m not around. Just don’t mess up the maps on the walls, all right?”

“No, I’d rather be here when you are. Your presence is very soothing.” Remus had said the words quickly, intending to reassure you that he would never be in your space if you weren’t here so that you shouldn’t worry about his messing up any of your papers, but of course the words had gone beyond that.

You finally stopped writing your essay and glanced sideways at Remus. He was still busy scratching away at his parchment, but the tips of his ears had tinged pink.

You smiled to yourself, but you looked down at your paper, and let your curtain of blue hair pass over your face to hide your expression as you merely replied, “As I said, you’re welcome here whenever you want.”

*    *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *

Later in bed that night, you thought about how strange it was that it didn’t bother you to have Remus Lupin share your hiding spot. You thought it would have. You thought you would have hated sharing that space with anybody. I mean, for goodness’ sake, even Rowan hadn’t known about it. Everything – all of your most important research on your most beloved Nine-Tailed Fox – was pinned up on the walls, and ordinarily, you’d be very defensive and secretive about such information. As you’d said, you were determined to be the very first to see the fox, but somehow, you didn’t think that Remus would betray you like that or, if the two of you were to find that fox together, you thought you might not mind – so long as it was Remus.

Perhaps with Rowan, I was always a little jealous of how much more he knew about all of the other magical creatures, and because I always knew he would eventually be able to travel the whole world with his father, Newt, to see all of the amazing magical creatures out there. I suppose that deep down, I always wanted to beat and impress Rowan regarding this one mythical creature, at least, so I didn’t want him to know too much about it. You sighed, staring up at the ceiling. Was I being too selfish? Perhaps I should have told him more about it. Maybe then, he wouldn’t feel so far away from me now...

You paused, wondering to yourself for the hundredth time: Rowan Scamander, how do I get rid of you in my mind…?

*    *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *

“Not only did you not come to my classes for the past two days, but you also forgot to attend your detention. We’ll now make it thirty points from Ravenclaw, and two detentions next week. And what did I say to you about making a barricade out of books? Clear that ridiculous thing at once.” That was Slughorn’s greeting to you at the beginning of class on Tuesday.

“Wait, Professor Slughorn.” Sirius’ head popped up so that when you instinctively turned your head, you could make out the top of his black hair above the stack of books you’d put between your side of the desk and his again.

“Yes, Mr. Black?”

“About the Potion last week, I was actually the one who forgot to put in the gurdyroot on time, so I don’t think she should be getting detention for that.”

“Ah, but Mr. Black, the point was not the mistiming of the Potion ingredients. I would never punish my students for an understandable mistake. It was because you were actually working on the Potion, while she was not. So, the detention – the two detentions still stand.” Professor Slughorn looked over at you as though to say, “Got that?”  However, when he saw you staring sullenly back at him, still having not moved any of your books off the desk, Slughorn suddenly pointed his wand at your books while muttering “Evanesco” and they all disappeared.

You leapt to your feet, enraged. But Slughorn merely said, “Finish the Potion for today, and you’ll have your books back.” With that, Slughorn moved away from you and Sirius.

“Look,” Sirius said, talking to you, “I think you should just sit down. Let’s get the Potion done, and you’ll get your books back, right?”

“Shut up, Black,” you said, thoroughly irritated at him. “It’s far too late to play the ‘good guy’ now.”

“I’m not trying to play at anything,” Sirius told you, his own temper rising.

“Don’t lie. It’s all fun and games to you, isn’t it? Seeing Slughorn favor you over me, throwing my keychain so that the Whomping Willow would break it - ”

“What -? You think I did that on purpose?” Sirius sputtered. “You were pulling at it so hard that it literally – I was trying to stop you from breaking your own keychain!”

“You owe me a keychain, and I don’t want to hear another word from you unless you pay up,” you said firmly, glaring at him.

He glared right back at you. Sirius’ sense of pride was quite robust, and his response to being challenged was to meet you head-on, but, seeing James’ furious nodding at him from over your shoulder (where James was clearly indicating, “Just do it! Agree with her!”), Sirius let out a harsh sigh before he muttered, “Fine. Fine. I’ll get you your bloody keychain.”

However, Sirius couldn’t help but mutter, “Though I doubt I’ll find a keychain like that one, you weirdo.”

Crash!

Another Potions flash bounced off of Sirius Black’s silky black hair – curse his fucking silky hair! you growled in your head – and shattered all over the dungeon floor.

Slughorn’s exasperated, yet furious, voice boomed loudly as he shouted, “Again!?”

*    *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *

Remus, too, upon hearing James’ and Peter’s recount of what had happened in Potions class, looked over at Sirius and said in exasperation, “Again, Pads?”

“’S not my fault she’s got a thing for throwing glass at my head. She’s a right menace,” Sirius growled.

“Padfoot, mate, if you’re going to apologize to someone, you can’t call them a weirdo,” James said, shaking his head. “I thought we went over this in second year.”

“No, your mum went over that with you your second year,” Sirius reminded James.

James paused. “Oh yeah, that was me. And my mum. Not you. You weren’t there then.”

Sirius rolled his eyes, and Peter facepalmed.

“Anyways, so what do I do now?” Sirius asked, grimacing. “I don’t want to have to deal with her being so batshit crazy every Potions class.”

“You can’t think of it like that,” Peter said wisely.

“Worm’s right. She’s not batshit crazy, Padfoot,” Remus said seriously. “She’s not crazy at all. You’ve really made her life miserable.”

Sirius frowned at this. “I never meant to. You know that. I genuinely never meant to.”

“Yeah, but Pads, that doesn’t matter,” Peter told him, shaking his head. Peter’s eyes darkened for a moment as he said quietly, “Nobody ever means to ignore you or make you feel small, but when it happens to you, it can really mess with your head.” His voice became heavy, and he turned away from Sirius.

Sirius watched Peter’s back for a long moment before he blew out a breath. “Fine,” he said, pushing himself up from the common room sofa. “I’m off, then.”

James looked up at him. “Where to?”

“To find a stupid keychain.”

*    *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *

A few hours later, Peter stared worriedly at Sirius’ empty spot at the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall. Dinner was finishing up, and yet, Sirius was still nowhere to be seen.

“Can’t be that hard to find a cute keychain,” James muttered, half falling asleep with his chin propped up in his palm. He’d just come back from Quidditch practice and eaten a full meal, making him one very tired boy.

“We should’ve asked Lily for recommendations before he went tromping off all lonesome to Hogsmeade,” Peter said.

James sleepily shook his head, precariously balancing his chin on his hand. “She would’ve stopped him from going out to Hogsmeade secretly. She’s Head Girl, remember?”

“You’re Head Boy,” Peter pointed out.

“Sure, but I’m a Marauder first,” James said proudly, cracking one eye open behind his glasses.

“Should I be pleased or worried about that?” Remus worried aloud.

But before anyone could answer, the three of them caught a figure stomping into the Grand Hall.

“There he is,” Remus announced, nodding over at Sirius.

“He looks… pissed,” Peter said bluntly.

James blinked his eyes awake, staring at Sirius. “Oh yeah,” James spoke conversationally, “he does look right pissed, doesn’t he? I think I can make out some smoke coming out of his ears.”

Sirius, spotting his friends, made a beeline for them, almost knocking some poor first-year Hufflepuff boy out of the way.

“Where the fuck is she?” Sirius growled, as soon as he reached them. “I’ve been looking all over for that stupid girl, even got into the Ravenclaw common room - ”

“Did you?” James interrupted, impressed.

“ – where that stupid bird door knocker wouldn’t shut the fuck up - ”

“Let me guess,” Remus said wryly, “you had to stand outside and wait until a first-year Ravenclaw answered the common room question for you.”

“ – and I finally get inside and she’s nowhere. Not to mention, the girl’s dormitory staircase dumped me out. So then, I had to ask some other Ravenclaw girl where she was, and that girl said she had no clue, maybe the library. So I went to the fucking library and - ”

“ – You went to the library?” Peter chirped, highly amused.

“ – And as you all know, I rarely go there, so - ”

“- Got lost in there, did you?” James chortled.

“Padfoot.” Remus cut Sirius off while clapping a hand over James’ mouth to stop him from laughing and pissing off Sirius even more.

“What?” Sirius growled furiously at Remus.

“I know where she is.”

*    *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *

You heard someone coming up the stairs. You were drawing out a new map, carefully copying a diagram of topography from an old library book when you heard the familiar creaking sounds of feet on the stairs.

“Lupin,” you began -  but then, a most unexpected, far deeper and growling voice sounded out.

“It’s not Lupin.” A head popped up through the entrance on the floor. “There you are. Finally.”

“You!” You immediately put both your hands on top of his head and tried to push him back down, out of your private hiding space. “Get out!”

“Ow! Ow! Ow!” Sirius yelled at you. “Fuck, you’re going to push me down these stairs!”

“Drop dead!” you shouted at him. “And how the fuck did you find me here, anyways?!”

“Merlin, you really aren’t giving me a choice, are you?” Sirius growled, beyond frustrated. He reached up, and grabbing your wrists, he flung you backwards. You stumbled back, and falling backwards, your head hit the window behind you – not too hard, thankfully, but hard enough to make you see stars for a moment.

Sirius finally climbed through and sat up carefully in the cramped space. “Whoa,” he said, noticing all of the maps you’d hung up on the walls.

You put your hand to your head, wincing. Then, you said, with a growl to match his, “What the hell are you doing here, Sirius Black? How’d you even - ?”

“I’m trying to apologize,” Sirius snarled back at you.

You snorted, entirely unimpressed. “Doesn’t sound like it, with that arrogant tone, you son of a bitch.”

Sirius sighed and shook his head. “You really test my patience, you know that?”

“How did you find this place?” you asked him angrily again. “Isn’t Potions enough? I hardly want to - ”

“Here.”

You were still lying back against the window, massaging your temple, when Sirius Black pulled out a keychain and held it out to you. It dangled right in front of your eyes, causing you to blink and scoot back even more so that you were leaning completely back against the window.

You wrinkled your nose. “What the hell is that supposed to be?”

In a gruff, irritated voice, Sirius grunted so quickly you almost missed it: “Puppy paw.”  

You stared at it for a long moment. The hell does a puppy paw have to do with me?

“Well? Aren’t you going to take it?” Sirius asked you. He moved his hand closer to you, and the keychain accidentally-but-not-really booped gently against your nose.

You blinked, taken aback. And you murmured out your question aloud without really meaning to. “What’s a – um, a puppy paw got to do with me?”

Sirius paused, and then, he unconsciously smiled the tiniest bit at your confused expression. There you were, lying back on the ground, now resting back on your elbows, the back of your head pressed up against the window, staring up at this tiny puppy paw keychain as though it were some labyrinth-level puzzle you had to solve.

And admittedly, there were other things that Sirius was slowly taking in while you were in this position – for instance, the way your school blouse stretched over your breasts, with that second-to-the-top button just about to pop, and your elegant blue tie falling down between your breasts. Girls usually didn’t wear school ties, but Sirius would be lying if he said that it didn’t look good on you.

Besides that, your thighs had spread slightly on the floor as you studied the keychain dangling in front of your eyes, and Sirius realized that you were quite toned and slender, not at all like the softer, curvier girls he usually preferred, and yet, there was just something about you in that moment that made his brain go fuzzy. Perhaps it was the sunlight coming in through the window behind you… Perhaps it was because you were still staring at the little keychain like it was a puzzle… Perhaps it was because the two of you were hidden away together, away from the pressures of the school where everyone seemed to care so much about how not “normal” you were, to the point where even Sirius, who normally didn’t care much for popularity, got swept up into that stuff and ended up unintentionally and regretfully making fun of you…

“I am sorry,” Sirius said quietly, still holding out the keychain.

A flash.

Your hand had snaked out, quick as lightning, to snatch the keychain away from him. But as you squirreled it away behind you, you repeated to Sirius stiffly, “Drop dead, Sirius Black,” which, of course, roughly translated to: Get the hell out of here.

Sirius’ eyes met yours – stormy grey-blue eyes searching dark, glittering brown eyes. You both stilled, almost to the point of looking like two sculptures forever frozen in the confines of heavy marble.

Then, Sirius raised his eyebrow at you, breaking the illusion, as he said to you, somewhat impatiently, “I said I was sorry. I gave you your keychain. What more do you want from me?”

“Want from you?” You laughed hoarsely. “I never wanted anything from you except to leave me alone.” You weren’t sure when your voice became a whisper, but it did. “I’ll never forgive you, Sirius Black.”

Sirius didn’t budge an inch, or even change his expression. He only murmured, “If you want to keep using my full name, it’s Sirius Orion Black…”

“Well.” Your voice was even quieter and softer. “If you - ”

You flinched slightly when Sirius unexpectedly ran his finger very gently against your cheek. “If I what?” he murmured, staring down at you with half-lidded eyes.

“If you think you’ll ever earn my forgiveness, after everything you’ve done…”

His finger slipped to your lips. He gently pressed down on your lower lip, watching his thumb sink into the softness of your pretty lip. “What’ve I done?”

You glowered at him. His finger fell off of your mouth as you hissed at him, “Where to begin? The names you’ve called me, throwing pie into my hair, breaking…”

You paused in puzzlement as Sirius’ fingers slid onto either side of your face and he gently squeezed your cheeks in his hands. “What are you doing?” you asked him. Why are his hands on my face? Why does his touch feel so… so…?

“I was listening to you rattle off all of the crimes I’ve so awfully committed against you. What d’you stop for?’ he whispered to you. “Is that all I did, hm? Are those all of the grievances you have against me? ‘Cause, love, as the guilty party, I hate to say this, but that’s not all that much.”

Bristling, you continued, “I was saying – breaking two keychains of mine, getting me in trouble with Slughorn twice, and - !” You broke off, as your rising anger was making it difficult for you to speak. Finally, you blurted out furiously, “You don’t get to decide what’s too much! I do.”

“I know that. I’m not disagreeing with that. But I just want you to know that I didn’t think it would bother you all that much,” Sirius confessed to you. “I never thought you cared what a – what d’you always call me? – oh right, what a bastard like me does. But seeing you all flustered like this… I just might have to kiss you.”

“What?”  A hushed whisper of intense disbelief left you at the sudden change of direction.

Sirius’ eyes flickered up to yours. He held your gaze, even as he noticed the way your lips had parted in shock at his abrupt turn of words.

“You’re… You’re out of your mind,” you accused him. But you couldn’t seem to look away from his heavy, intense gaze.

“Exactly. There’s madness in me, too, and I don’t think that’s such a bad thing, the way you seem to,” Sirius muttered. “That’s why…” His voice lowered in a rasp as he told you, “you don’t have to get so fucking defensive around me when I’m trying to apologize to you, you numbskull.”

Your head was spinning at his words. What did Sirius Black mean by all of this? All at once, you unexpectedly felt like Sirius was a different man altogether. Trying to make sense of it all, you asked, “Is it your – your madness telling you to kiss me?”

Sirius responded, “Yeah. Something like that.” Then, suddenly grasping you by the back of your neck and yanking you forward, Sirius dropped his head down to press his lips hard against yours.

Stunned, your hand flew to his chest – or it would have, but he was still leaning over you, and your fingertips didn’t stretch out as far as you expected them to. You missed and ended up grabbing onto the front of his shirt. However, your index finger accidentally slipped between two buttons and while you were trying to yank your hand away from him, you unintentionally ripped open the front of his school shirt.

“My, my,” Sirius murmured, smirking, “aren’t you impatient? Don’t tell me you had a secret crush on me all this time?”

You punched him in the stomach.

“Ow!” Sirius collapsed on top of you without any warning, knocking the breath out of both of you.

“Ow, fuck, you’re heavy!” you complained, trying to push him off of you.

Sirius had accidentally anchored you down, pressing your torso up against the window behind you and your hips and legs down onto the ground. His hands, which had flown out instinctively to stop his fall, were on either side of you, blocking you in.

And with the window behind you, the last, heavy rays of the evening sun were pouring down on you both. Everything was suddenly very confusing – was that warmth coming from the sunlight or from his fine, cut, and sturdy body on top of yours…?

And oh, when had you two started kissing again? You couldn’t really remember. All you knew was that your lips were slowly parting to let him in a little deeper, to let him taste you… You turned your head a little so that your lips could slot deeper against each other without your noses in the way.

Sirius tasted like cigarette smoke – you hated it. He smelled like leather and musk – you hated that, too. His stubble on his chin and around his top lip was scratching your much softer mouth – and you hated it. His hands on you were so strong and seemed capable of yanking you around however he pleased – that infuriated you, so… surprise, surprise – you hated it. Truly, you hated everything about Sirius Orion Black.

However, hating everything about him made it easy to kiss him however you liked, and that “fuck-it-all” feeling was a good feeling to give into. You weren’t proud of giving into it, but for the first time since Rowan had made love to you and then left you, you didn’t feel so self-conscious of your body. Being with Sirius, you didn’t have to second-guess as to whether you had been so bad at sex that Rowan had just decided to forget about you, because you didn’t care what Sirius had thought of you. Almost every night this past summer, you’d kept your promise to Rowan, thinking of him whenever you touched yourself, and running your hands gently over your lower tummy to imagine the outline of his cock pressed up against you, while you tried to recall the feeling of friction and pressure that you’d felt when he was so deep inside of you, making love to you so roughly and passionately you almost thought you’d break right there in his arms…

And you’d tormented yourself, reassuring yourself that you’d done your best for Rowan and that he wouldn’t care about whether you’d been ‘good’ or not, but there was no denying that that was the first time you’d ever been with anyone, and you’d both tried to cram it all into one hour – the kissing, the fucking, the cumming, all of it - so you probably hadn’t been very good at it. Knowing that made you want to swear off sex for life. After everything, including the utter embarrassment you felt at realizing how you’d denied your own feelings for Rowan for six long years, you truly didn’t need the extra humiliation of being bad in bed on top of everything else.

But right now, you found that you didn’t care about any of that with Sirius. So what if you were bad at kissing him? How much more teasing could Sirius possibly give you? Sirius could try, you supposed, but you also figured that at that point, you would just Avada Kedavra him on the spot.

There, you thought, take that, Sirius Black – oh wait, Sirius Orion Black.

A smaller voice whispered in your mind, and take this, Rowan Jacob Scamander. I don’t need you. Forget me all you want. You can’t hurt me anymore.

Finally, when you both had to draw breath, you pushed Sirius away, with your palm unceremoniously meeting his cheek to push his face to the side.

“Ow,” Sirius mumbled. “Don’t push my cheek there. It still hurts from when you slapped me.”

You scoffed loudly. “You’re such a baby. I did all of one thing to you, and you can’t take it?”

“Because I never meant to hurt you! While you fully intended to slap me into the next country over,” Sirius growled at you.

“Next universe would’ve been more accurate,” you replied grumpily.

Sirius’ eyes flashed angrily. “All right. Listen up. I’m going to give you your reply, to every single one of your so-called grievances,” Sirius told you, keeping you trapped right up against the window, not letting you budge. He kept his eyes on you as he told you, “And you are finally going to fucking hear me out. You got that? And when this is over, you don’t get to keep saying that I’m not sorry or that I’m just a right bastard who should go to hell.”

You glared at him and retorted furiously, “I don’t have to listen to a thing you have to say, Sirius. And you are a right bastard, and you do deserve to go to hell.”

Sirius growled and pressed himself closer to you. Unfortunately, Sirius pressing up against you like that forced you to sit up more upright, and your legs spread open a little and came up so that your knees were bent on either side of you, with the soles of your sneakers touching flat on the floor, but opened and turned out in opposite directions. And with Sirius pressing up against you, that meant the front of his pants were now pressing up rather hard against your thin black cotton boyshorts.

You both breathed out all at once, and your hand shot out to clutch Sirius by the shoulder.

Sirius felt your hand grasping at his shirt, and while that was unexpectedly cute and all, he had to admit that he was more focused on the sudden throb that ran through his cock. Fuck, he thought in his head, what is going on with me? Why do I suddenly want her so badly? She’s not my type at all, but feeling her pressed up against me like this. She’s just a lot… lot warmer and smaller than she seems when she’s sitting next to me in class, patently ignoring me, or when she’s glowering at me from across the Great Hall…

Keep your cool, another voice inside Sirius’ head said. She doesn’t tolerate fools nor is she the type to fall for your usual charms, so keep playing along.

“First grievance,” Sirius breathed out, with some effort. “Names, was it?”

“What?” you replied breathlessly. You were panting quite a bit harder than you should be, and you knew that. But mmm, you moaned out loud in your head, as you felt Sirius keeping you so warm against the window, and then, between your legs, if you weren’t mistaken, he was pressed up right against you and – and – Don’t move your hips even a little bit, you told yourself. It quickly turned into an internal chant of: Don’t move. Don’t move. Don’t move. Not for him. Not for Sirius Black.

“Everything you had against me,” Sirius reminded you. The veins in his strong arms were slowly becoming more defined as he was pressing his palms down against the window on either side of you rather hard. He slowly began to lean in against you, pushing his hips forward as he said, “You said I called you names, right?”

You nodded, trying to hide the fact that all of a sudden, you could feel a soft little thumping going on right between your legs. Is he leaning into me? Why do I suddenly feel that soft pressure against my pussy lips and now… my clit, too… Oh God, he’s spreading me open with his bulge. Mm, fuck, it feels so good…

“All right. Be more specific,” Sirius told you, and unable to help himself, he slowly began to roll his hips against yours, grinding very slowly but deeply against you.

Uhnnn, he feels so – so strong and so good – wait, no! You tried hard to keep ahold of yourself. You barely heard Sirius saying, “What have I – uhn – What have I called you?”  over your internal moans.

“You don’t – don’t remember?” You bit onto your lower lip for a moment. Honestly, I can’t remember either right now, you found yourself thinking.

“No,” Sirius whispered back to you. “Shouldn’t you know? You’re the one with the -mm – grievances.”

“Well, if you can’t remember them, then - ” You cut off for a moment, with your little hand balling up into a very tight fist on Sirius’ shoulder as the rocking motion of his hips, pushing his bulge right up against your little slit, was making it exceedingly hard for you to focus on speaking.

“Then…?” Sirius moaned softly into your ear. You felt so good against him, and god damn it, maybe he truly was out of his mind for thinking this, but the way you were clutching onto his shirt over his shoulder was so fucking cute of you. Puppy paw might actually be spot-on with her, Sirius found himself thinking.

But then he instantly berated himself for how nonsensical that thought was. Yeah, right, he told himself. What kind-of puppy would throw glass at your head all the time?

But oh, fuck, he groaned. She’s trying to hide her pants, and it sounds so cute, almost like a real puppy. Fuck, I guess this puppy might be one to throw glass at me, and still be a little puppy… Uhn…  Sirius’ head was sinking lower and lower, nearly resting on your shoulder, as he worked his hips into you more and more.

“Um, um – ah - then perhaps you don’t deserve my forgiveness,” you managed to finish. Well, finish speaking. You hadn’t cum yet, but if this continued, if Sirius kept rolling his hips into you like this, over and over and over again, repeatedly spreading open your little pussy lips through your boyshorts by rubbing his bulge against you like this, you very well might…

“I might – might remember some of them – fuck,” Sirius cursed, with his mouth right at your ear now. He was moving his hips faster and faster, rubbing up against you harder and harder.

“Nngh, t-tell me,” you stuttered out, trying to hide how badly he was affecting you. You didn’t realize how he’d already heard all of your little pants that you were giving out – and that he’d fallen in love with them. Fuck, no, I’m starting to get so wet, a little voice in your head recognized. Oh, no, no, no, not for him, not for Sirius Black. Oh, but I am. Shit, I want him to make me cum. Just like this, with my cunt pressed right up against his bulge. Yes, I want him to – to – let me - uhn, please…

“I called you things like, um, freak - ” Sirius pushed his hips into yours, and you could feel the very distinct and obvious outline of his hard cock through your boyshorts and his trousers.

“Weirdo,” Sirius muttered, as he thrust his hips against you again.

A soft whine left your lips as you whispered to Sirius while clutching onto him, “Keep going.”

“I can’t – can’t think of any more,” Sirius confessed. His hands had snuck down onto your ass, and while his palms were pressed against the soft fabric of your skirt, his fingers were now reaching past your skirt and touching the back of your boyshorts underneath.

“C-Creep,” you supplied breathlessly. Your other hand came up and found its way into Sirius’ silky black hair. The reason why his head was still protected after all those Potions flasks I’ve thrown at him, you remembered. Hmpfh. All this gorgeous hair to protect your brain and you can’t remember more than two of the multitude of names you’ve called me over six years. Tsk, tsk.

“Oh, yeah, that one,” Sirius groaned out, not really hearing you. “So, um, freak, weirdo - ” He let out a long, deep, and raspy growl all of a sudden, one that startled you with his intensity, and he abruptly added a totally different name to the list, suddenly calling you, “love” and in a tone that would have made your mother blush.

“Love, please,” he moaned out, following his deep growl with an almost pathetic moan. “I didn’t say them to hurt you. I was just – just teasing. You know, people call me a freak, too. Uhn, fuck, you’re getting so wet…”

“But they don’t mean it with you, Black,” you whispered back accusingly, even as your breath hitched and your fingers tightened in his hair. “But when you – uhn – when you call me that, everyone a-agrees, and they – mmm - they mean it.”

His hands sliding up into your silky blue hair, Sirius buried his face into your neck and softly bit your neck before he whispered once again, “I’m sorry.”

Turning your head to allow Sirius to keep kissing your neck while you, too, buried your face against his neck and shoulder, you whispered back, “I don’t forgive you.”

Sirius sighed, and you felt a soft explosion of hot breath on your neck.

“And my hair that you’ve got your hands buried in right now? You’ve thrown pie into it, you ass,” you hissed into his ear. “In front of everyone. In the Great Hall. And in my head – my ‘freak’ head, as you call it, I can still hear the sound of everyone laughing at me.”

In truth, what you remembered was not so much everybody laughing at you, but rather Rowan’s eyes staring at you all confused, looking at you like you were somebody he had never known, and would never care to know…

Shamefully, Sirius lowered his hands away and out of your hair, though he kept his hands pressed all along the sides of your body, dragging them slowly and soothingly down your curves, as he explained, “I never dreamed it would actually reach you. In my defense, it was a short spoon. A soup spoon.”

In any other instance, you would have genuinely laughed at Sirius’ “defense,” or at least snorted. But with Rowan’s expression still lingering in your eyes, you couldn’t find the humor in it.  

“But it did. It did reach me, and it got all over my hair,” you reminded him. “People already think blue hair is ridiculous. Of course they’d find me even more ridiculous when there’s pumpkin pie spattered all over it. But once again, you were the oh-so-clever trickster, while I was the idiot, again. Even though it should have been the other way around.”

“It should’ve been,” Sirius agreed with you, while he kissed your neck hungrily. “People are stupid.”

“They’re not stupid. They know exactly what they’re doing. The truth is that they’re mean. Just like you,” you countered, while still panting softly. His mouth, sucking so warmly on your neck, was sending you into a bit of a daze, though you were doing your best to resist getting lost in it – in him.

“I didn’t know,” Sirius murmured honestly. “I really didn’t – uhn – know. I’m – I’m sorry.”

Bluntly, you threw back, “Apology rejected.”

And all the while that the two of you were talking, you were nuzzling each other, kissing each other’s necks and Sirius was touching you all over, though he left your precious blue hair alone, even as you had your hand buried in the back of his hair. You gave him sharp little tugs every now and then, with your fingers wrapped tightly in his locks.

“But I gave you your keychain,” Sirius reminded you, and the way he said it was sort-of amazing, because he did what only Sirius Black could do – which was to growl and pout at the same time.

You almost laughed. Almost. But instead, you whispered back meanly, “I said you broke two keychains of mine.”

“I did?” His voice came out in a mumble, as he was still busy sucking away on your neck. Sirius found that he rather liked the taste of you. You weren’t sweet, exactly, but that only made Sirius want to keep sucking at your skin, until he found your sweetness deeper inside of you. Yeah, inside of her, Sirius’ mind whispered to him.

But you were still speaking, “Yes, you – uhn - you jerk. Last year, when I was walking down the hallway, minding my own business, and you come out of – ah – of n-nowhere, like a fucking demon summoned straight from hell - ”

“All right, that’s a little harsh,” Sirius said, stopping your rant and growling into your warm, soft, and now glistening wet, neck.

You wanted to punch him in the face. Instead, you settled for leaning into him and biting on his neck, hard.

“Ow,” Sirius muttered. “Jesus. I give you some gentle kissing and sucking, and you bite me like that? That’s hardly fair.”

“Shut up. You’re the last person to lecture me on fairness, Black.”

Then, Sirius realized that you were working furiously to undo the buttons at the front of his shirt.  Once it was sufficiently open (which didn’t take long, as you’d already ripped open the middle buttons of said shirt), you bent down a little to give him more bites, all the way down his strong, sturdy chest. Your blue hair softly brushed up against his skin every now and then as you moved lower and lower down his chest to bite him all over.

As Sirius watched you, a bit hazily, and breathed out a little harder whenever he felt your teeth sink softly into his skin, he murmured, “All right. I’ll wear whatever keychain you want me to wear.”

“What?” You abruptly sat up angrily and crossed your arms as well as you could, though it was difficult because Sirius’ chest was taking up a lot of space, what with him all pressed up against you. “You expect me to go buy a keychain for you?”

“Well, I sure as hell am not going back to get you another keychain,” Sirius told you firmly, not willing to back down on this one. “Do you know how much I was heckled for buying that puppy paw thing? The store owner kept mentioning how much I must love my ‘girlfriend,’ for me to go in and buy that thing.”

“Fine,” you relented. “Merlin knows I do not want to be known as your girlfriend. I would die of shame. But you’ve got to wear whatever I give you. No matter how much you hate it.”

Sirius shrugged. “I already told you I would.”

You both locked stares.

“Fine,” you said first.

“Fine,” Sirius repeated, equally neutral, even cold.

A beat.

Then, your mouths clashed together even more frantically before, and you and Sirius were all over each other. Sirius dragged you right into his lap, and that action roughly pushed your thighs wide open, so that your thighs were draped over his thighs and then splayed out beyond his hips. Meanwhile, Sirius’ hands were now back in your hair, ruthlessly tugging at your hair as though he owned you, as though he wasn’t sorry at all, and in a strange way, that gave you permission to finally finished yanking off his shirt. The last few buttons towards the hem popped off. You didn’t spare the shirt a single glance as you chucked it into a distant corner of the room. Then, you went right to work, determined to leave nail marks all over his bare back.

“Ow, fuck,” Sirius cursed at you. “You think I’m a demon from hell? Your nails are fucking digging into my back. Easy with the claws, you little demon.”

You smirked into your kiss. “What, did you think I was just some innocent good girl because I let you pick on me all the time?” you whispered deviously. “Think again.”

“Yeah, I am thinking again,” Sirius replied wryly. “I didn’t actually think you were a freak until now – ouch!”

You bit him again, right on his lower lip. And with your teeth clamped onto his lower lip, you sucked gently on it before finally letting him go.

“What the hell? Are you an actual fox demon? You fucking bit me!” Sirius sputtered, taken aback. His lip was already turning slightly puffy, and you were satisfied that it would bruise up quite well by tomorrow.

You merely winked at him, still sitting in his lap and clutching onto his shoulders, as you said knowingly to him, “Oh, but wait one minute. You haven’t quite finished addressing my list of grievances yet, Sirius Orion Black.”

Sirius stared at you in disbelief. “What?”

“What are you going to do about my detentions now, huh?” you asked him, digging your nails into his back again and making him hiss in pain. “Two of them, thanks to you.”

Sirius paused, thinking. He let you draw him back into a long, intense kiss as he thought about it. Then, pulling back again, he offered, “You know what? I think I can find a way to join you in them.”

“No, I don’t want you in them with me,” you replied at once, barely restraining yourself from rolling your eyes at him. “That’d be the worst.”

“Would it really be the worst?” Sirius asked you, while he leaned in to kiss you again.

“Yes, it would be the worst,” you said stubbornly, once Sirius had finished gently tonguing your soft little mouth to his heart’s desire. Though you didn’t know it, he was still searching for your sweetness. “Like I said, I want you to get me out of them.”

“I tried that, missy. And I failed.” But then, Sirius added cheekily, “Don’t worry, I think Plan B is better anyways. After all, as your most hated person, I know I’ll keep you highly entertained.”  

“Oh, really?” you said skeptically. “And how’s that?”

Just then, you felt Sirius’ hand slink down between your bodies, burrowing down between your tummies all pressed together, and impatiently pushing up the front of your skirt – and then, his large, warm fingers tried to hook themselves around your panties, right where your thigh creased, only to find that you were –

“Wearing boyshorts, Sirius Black. Take that,” you whispered viciously in his ear.

Sirius made a face and finally pulled away from you.

You laughed softly as you pushed back your hair and tugged down your skirt before retrieving the little puppy paw keychain that had been lying behind you this whole time. “Appreciate the effort, Black,” you said, holding up the keychain. It clinked brightly in the air for a moment.

“But now,” you announced, “it’s time for you to get out of my space.”

“But - ”

“Out. Now.”

Sirius gritted his teeth together. “You’re just playing with me now,” he said, thoroughly frustrated. “You just enjoy messing with me.”

“I’m simply trying to understand why you would mess with me for six years.” You shrugged nonchalantly as you said, “And you know what? I think I’m staring to understand.”

With that, you booted him back down the stairs.

As his head disappeared down the exit, Sirius called to you, half-angrily and half-pleadingly, “See you in detention, then? And we call it even once and for all?”

You called after him, “See you in hell, rather! Get out of here!”

*    *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *

Grumbling, Sirius shoved his hands in his pockets and left for Gryffindor Tower. He wasn’t exactly sure if he’d accomplished anything today, and for that, he cursed you out in his head, and then he cursed his own consciousness, which he blamed for getting him into this mess with you.

Fuck all that bullshit about making amends and being a good person, he thought. I don’t deserve this. She’s just playing with me now, the sly little fox. But your words kept playing over and over again in his head: “And in my head – my ‘freak’ head, as you call it, I can still hear the sound of everyone laughing at me.”

Sirius sighed deeply. He knew what that felt like. It’d been the very reason he’d escaped his family home – the Black Manor, Grimmauld Place, last summer. When Sirius had insulted Lucius in front of everyone, his own mother had hexed him. He’d been shouting in pain, and all of the pureblood families that had come over for dinner were now laughing at him as he thrashed on the floor and cried out in pain. Sirius still heard it, too, sometimes – the sound of their cruel laughter. It had been worse than the pain of the curse itself, almost.

If I don’t at least try to earn her forgiveness, I’m going to have a hard time looking in the mirror, Sirius realized solemnly. I already hate the way I look – the fucking spitting image of my good-for-nothing father. But if I act like them, too, then I don’t know who I am anymore. There’d be no point to my running away, to my leaving Regulus behind in that madhouse, to my burdening James and his parents all summer long, if I don’t try to make amends with fox girl now…

*    *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *

When Sirius returned to his dormitory, he found Peter napping in a patch of sun, James lazily catching the Snitch every time it passed over his bed where he was lying, and Remus folding his socks, carefully tucking one inside the other.

Remus looked up when Sirius came in.

“What happened to your lip?” Remus asked at once.

Sirius waved his question away carelessly.

So, Remus asked his next question, “Did you find her?”

“Yeah,” Sirius replied gruffly. “And I didn’t mention that you told me about her hiding spot, just as you asked.”

“Good,” Remus said.

“But how did you know, Moony?” Sirius asked him. “Don’t tell me the two of you are friends.”

“I…” Remus hesitated, uncertain of the answer himself. He’d certainly like to be friends with you, but were you friends? Remus thought that after having what seemed like an intense, six-year friendship with Rowan Scamander, that had probably set the bar quite high for friendship for you. You were clearly an independent person, who only treasured friendship for true value, not for necessity. Besides, you knew that Remus was best mates with Sirius, your arch enemy, so that was probably a strike against Remus. On top of that, you generally seemed cautious to let people near you, which Remus couldn’t blame you for, he’d seen you teased often over the years, and he was sure that he’d only witnessed a portion of what you actually had to experience. For all of these reasons, Remus felt like he had no right whatsoever to speak on your behalf. So, he simply said, “Um…” and left it at that.

Meanwhile, Sirius came over to James and looked down at him.

“What’s up, Padfoot?” James asked, letting the Snitch go once again. It took off, whizzing across the dormitory to hit Peter in the forehead.

“Ouch!” Peter said, waking up very dazed. “What -?”

“Nothing, Worm,” Remus replied gently. “Go back to sleep.”

And Peter did, as though his own brain had a built-in “snooze” function.

James was still looking at Sirius expectantly.

Sirius paused for a moment. Then, he said, in a resigned voice, “Prongs, help me get in detention for Slughorn’s class, yeah?”

James’ face split into a grin. “Excellent.”

Behind them, Remus sighed quietly as he folded another sock into its match. In his head, he wondered for the thousandth time what Albus Dumbledore had been thinking (or smoking) when he made Remus a Gryffindor prefect and James the Head Boy, of all things…

“Though, it’s kind-of weird that you want to get caught,” James pointed out to Sirius, while yawning and scratching his head.

“Yeah,” Sirius said, looking rather peeved, “about that. Don’t ask.”

Tagged Users: @areomalfoy

[luke-o-lophus]

5, 16 and 18 for the fanfic writers ask

5. How many wips do you have? What fandoms/pairings are they for?

Hoo boi, that's a tough one. I have quite a few, some of them partially written, some of them just taking shape in my head, But this is a great opportunity to talk abt them and see which ones ya'll would be interested to read!

A. an old FATWS multi-chapter. Bucky/Reader annoyed colleagues to lovers, Sam/Reader friendship with pre-Endgame Steve/Reader. Unsure if I wanna make it a fix-it for EG!Steve or play with canon. Heavy on angst and h/c. It's unlikely I''ll go back to this, although there are some scenes that REALLY pull at my heart. Maybe I'll write those bits as drabbles?

B. Part 2 of Till the Candles Out. Marc Spector/Reader. Reader heals from injuries while they both heal from their shared past that's filled with misunderstandings. Fluffy with wound tending tropes, maybe light smut

C. Part 2 of When We Feel Young. I'm struggling with this one, but i really want Desi! Scholar!Reader x Scholar!Steven Grant meeting at a Conference and sweet domestic friends to lovers!!

D. A very angsty with fluffy ending Moon Boys/Reader where Elias Spector visits them at Steven's flat

E. A Steve Rogers/f!Reader post Infinity War fic where Reader sustains injuries in IW fight that leads to her temporarily losing the ability to walk, and the couple navigating the recovery. A prequel to the fic in A. or a standalone long oneshot

That's all that come to mind! There are a couple in the Asks that I don't really have an idea for at the moment.

16. Do you write by hand, on your phone, or on your laptop?

I prefer writing on laptops. HCs and small drabbles I might do on phone, but I prefer Lappy. I don't hand-write anymore, but I used to.

18. Do you enjoy research? Which fic of yours required the most research?

I actually try not to get too deep into research, because I know I'll lose my way in deep dives, overthink facts, and end up not writing. I do try to look up enough so that I am not disrespectful. Most of my stories focus more on the internal and on intimate actions, so I try not to think too much on say, whether the first aid I am describing is accurate or not. If facts become crucial to the plot, or such a strong presence that wrong facts will distract, I try to stick to fields that I already know a fair bit about, like in Ornithological and Other Oddities, or how I plan in When We Feel Young

Thank you so much for the ask!!!

[peppersonironi]

Duke Thomas VS The "Good Child" Stereotype Chapter Three

Wooo! Chapter Two (not including the prologue) is up now for my @dukethomasbigbang fic! Today's art is by @a-sketchy-character and you can find the glorious piece HERE

thx again to my betas @queerbutstillhere & @theycallme-ook

Today has a special thanks to @batgirls-appreciation who dropped out as a beta, but this chapter couldn't exist without her!

Summary:

Duke pursed his lips, not quite sure why Cass had come down to the basement, only to look into his soul, shrug, and leave. But that didn’t matter right now. As Bruce would say, “The mission comes first.”

Read on Ao3

Duke frowned down at his empty pad of paper, trying to brainstorm. It had been a mere twelve hours since the failed Rick Roll (though, the Rick Roll itself wasn’t a fail. Duke would be daydreaming about the chaos for years to come), and the day shift bat was itching for a way to make up for it.

Alas, the creative juices were not flowing that day. Duke had tried everything - taking a walk, training, meditation, writer’s sprint, and even resorting to watching prank compilations on YouTube. But nothing worked. So, he found himself watching the target Bat - Bruce - in his “natural habitat.”

Also known as the living room, mid lecture.

“But I don’t know what I did!” Tim pleaded desperately, trying to convey to Bruce his confusion.

Bruce shook his head. “No, you do, Tim. Dick told me you all will appeal to my affection to get out of the consequences for your actions -” wow, Duke remembered Dick using that exact tactic just yesterday, and it worked - “So I will not allow you to shirk the punishment.”

Tim groaned. “This is tyranny! I’m an emancipated minor, I don’t need to deal with this.”

“Actually, yes you do. You will be doing chores for Alfred for the next two weeks, and you aren’t allowed to run off to Mount Justice.”

“Then at least tell me what I did wrong!” Tim cried, throwing his hands up in the air. Bruce rubbed his temples, then glanced briefly at Duke.

“You know what you did, and how it affected those around you. And you’re grounded because of it. No room for arguments. Now go work on the sprinklers, Alfred has mentioned they’ve been finicky.”

Tim scoffed and stalked out, soon after followed by Bruce.

Duke considered relocating as well - he couldn’t very well observe Bruce if said wild furry wasn’t present. But something about that conversation that sent a light shiver up Duke’s spine, some small spark of inspiration.

An idea began to form in his mind, and Duke smiled slowly.

*****

“For all Bruce’s waxing poetic on the merits of high tech stuff, this pipe organization is seriously ancient,” Duke muttered under his breath as he glanced from the blueprints he had secured to the mess of pipes and spigots and nozzles in front of him.

Though to be fair, this wasn’t the Batcave. Duke was in the basement of Wayne Manor - yes, he was just as surprised to find they actually had one of those that wasn’t dedicated to the dark and mystique training of Gotham’s Protectors. And impromptu Mario Kart challenges, because as Tim had once told Duke “We all know that’s the real reason Bruce got a giant computer setup.”

Duke cursed softly under his breath when he dropped a wrench that began to clang around in the messy cage of metal. He set the blueprints aside atop the gallons of paint he had chosen, and reached around and down to get the wrench. When he came back up, he found himself face to face with his sister Cassandra.

Oh shit, Duke thought, as he tried to figure out how to cover for what he was doing in the plumbing of the Manor.

Cass squinted at him and, not for the first time, Duke felt like he was an onion trapped beneath her gaze, slowly being peeled back layer by layer till the young woman before him knew every little detail about him. Every thought or plan he ever had.

Duke began to sweat, unable to keep his panic under wraps. Cass was scarier than Bruce, that was just a fact.

Cass tilted her head a fraction of an inch, and Duke thought he was a dead man. But, much to his relief and confusion, Cass shrugged and turned. She walked lightheartedly out of the basement and to the stairs, whistling tunelessly as she went.

Duke pursed his lips, not quite sure why Cass had come down to the basement, only to look into his soul, shrug, and leave.

But that didn’t matter right now. As Bruce would say, “The mission comes first.”

*****

As all members of the Wayne family knew, the Library was one of the best places, period. Aside from the living room which was always a mess of pillows, bean bags, inflatable dinosaurs, spare semi-automatic weaponry and knives, the Library was the most personal room in the expansive home that was the Manor. Sure, it was cleaner and home to fewer surprise nerf gun fights, but It still had an air of warmth about it. It was the place that they would go to to rest after a difficult patrol. Where you could find Jason reading some book in a corner, Tim busy with WE work at the large table, Damian trying to teach Alfred the Cat and Titus to read picture books, Cass and Steph trying to be subtle about making out (though to be fair that was only half the time, other times Cass was working on reading with Steph helpfully giving her guidance). Dick would always be trying to decide what to read and but he would never actually succeed, Bruce would sit in his tall armchair in the corner overlooking every small detail of his children with a not-quick-smile-but-pretty-darn-close on his face.

Duke himself also had his own spot that he would work on writing poetry, or just surf Tumblr. It was a window seat at the far side of the library which was technically big enough for three people, but Duke had a strict policy that it was his and his alone and no he totally wasn’t bullied by Cass that one time to snuggle. Why on Earth would you ever consider such a thing?

It was in this spot now that Duke was situated, though he was not alone. Titus - yes, Damian’s dog - was draped across his lap. Now, Duke didn’t mean to steal his little brother’s pets, but it just happened. Titus was in need of snuggles or belly rubs when Damian was away with Jon or on patrol at night, and Duke just happened to be the only one that said canine could bully into granting him.

Thankfully, like all bats were, Duke was a multi-tasker. He wasn’t put off by having to scratch a dog behind the ears whilst simultaneously checking the twelve blinking dots on his laptop screen that represented his family members.

Duke stared intensely at the diagram of the Manor as all the dots slowed down and finally stayed in their predetermined positions. Huh, Tim was right. Stalking family members did pay off!

The dots suddenly stopped blinking, and Duke snapped out of his self congratulations. It was go time . He switched windows, then quickly pulled out his phone and pressed a button.

There were several screams that echoed throughout the ancient halls, those screams spoke of terror and surprise, and passed along the message that something was very, very wrong in the world. The status quo had been broken, and there was no returning from this.

Duke smirked down at his computer, where a dozen different squares displayed camera footage of the real time happenings of the Manor. Said footage was showing several members of Duke’s family drenched in paint. The same paint that Duke had meticulously divided and poured into the ceiling sprinkling system that the Manor had for some totally-not-plot-related reason. The same paint which had been primed and ready to be sprayed out of the spigots coating each bat with the perfectly calculated, even layer.

The paint had just finished being deployed, and yet several people were for some reason trying to fight it off like it was an attacker. Duke noticed that the swinging of bo staffs, AK-47’s and katanas were altogether unsuccessful. Honestly, the people who were standing completely still in shock, or who were trying to shake off the paint were having much better luck.

But then everyone finally realised that they weren’t being sprayed anymore, and a collective sigh spread out across the Manor. The onslaught was done, and they could finally gather together and grab the pitchforks to hunt down the responsible party.

It was then that the glitter was deployed.

The chaos immediately multiplied tenfold, and the screams sounded up again. The air was filled with the sparkly dust that was way too thin to swat away. (No, Duke totally didn’t spend extra time researching to find the world’s finest glitter)

Duke was outright laughing at this point, so hard that he almost fell off the window seat. Titus barked suddenly, and Duke sobered enough to get back upright and watch the finishing up of the chaos. He had to admit, this felt wonderful. If he had to describe his current state of thrill in two words, he would have admitted that he felt altogether too close to the Hellmo Meme.

Unfortunately, Duke was not Stephanie, and ran out of glitter eventually. The vents stopped blasting the film of fairy dust, and the bats were given a reprieve.

Though the break was short lived, as just then, Bruce’s loud bellow sounded throughout the giant house.

“ALL OF YOU GET IN HERE!”

Duke chuckled as he scooched Titus over and set his laptop to the side so he could get up. This was all working perfectly! He’d arrive at Bruce's interrogation completely free from all paint or glitter, which would immediately prove his guilt. And if that didn’t work, then he supposed he could outright confess. But that wasn’t the point of this. The point was for Bruce to come to the conclusion on his own.

He walked down the hall, completely carefree. So happy and confident in his own abilities that he never even noticed that Cassandra’s paint or glitter didn’t go off. That she wasn’t even present where the tracker he had subtly placed on her earlier that day said she was.

*****

Duke hummed to himself as he skipped along the carpet, past the antique vases and random finger paintings, past the drawing rooms and bathrooms, and towards Bruce. All was quiet.

Though that began to trouble Duke, as he got closer to one of the rooms which was very special. It was where Cass had been situated, playing with Selina’s cat Isis, for the past hour. Now, Cassandra was quiet, sure. But not that quiet. And besides, wouldn’t the cat be screeching right about now? Cass didn’t seem like the person to give a nerve hit to an animal just because it was being loud ( cough Jason cough ).

He slowly entered the room and looked around, but was surprised to find it completely empty. Not just of girl and cat, but of paint and glitter too.

“You were mistaken.”

Duke whirled around to find Cass sitting in an armchair, wrapped in shadows, and stroking Isis in a manner not altogether different from that of an Evil Mastermind™.

“Uh…” Duke replied, “about what?”

Cass smirked, and Duke felt a shiver run up his spine. “Actions have consequences. ”

Duke frowned. Wait, what? He glanced around again, trying to figure out what Cass meant. On a surface level he understood, but there was something about the way Cass was eyeing him that told him something else was up.

The only thing he could find that was out of the ordinary, however, was the camera he had placed just yesterday. Huh, now that he thought about it, he was at just the right angle to see it. Which meant he was in direct view of the camera itself. Pretty darn to close to where he had been planning Cass would stand, actually.

Then a faint spitting noise came from above him.

Oh.

*****

Duke trudged forlornly into the room where the rest of the bats - except Cassandra, who had disappeared after the glitter had deployed onto Duke - had gathered. He was one of the last to arrive, muttering curses under his breath, so all eyes were on him as he opened the door and joined them.

Though that also meant that Duke could see them. He had to admit, that as disappointed as he was, it was still hard to keep a grin from spreading across his face. Boy, he had done a great job with color coordination, hadn’t he?

Bruce was front and center, covered in a dark gray paint which had the sheen of yellow glitter. Dick had black paint completely covering him (much more than Duke planned. Did Dick roll in the stuff?) along with blue glitter. Jason had both red paint and glitter on him. Tim had started off with a lighter colored paint - this time red - and then the look was finished by black glitter. Damian looked like a small Christmas tree in his green paint and red glitter. Harper had blue paint then covered in purple glitter, both of which were the exact shades of her hair. Duke wasn’t a monster ; he knew how to match colors.

The cousins - both honorary and actually - had also been present. Bette had been appropriately targeted with a flaming orange and gold combination. Kate had black paint and, instead of red, Duke had picked a rainbow glitter for her. From the slight glint in her eye, Duke supposed he had chosen correctly. Jean-Paul had been doused in yellow paint and red glitter, and he honestly looked like a very large and human shaped version of his sword. Luke was covered in silver paint and an electric blue glitter.

Bruce, however, didn’t give Duke a second glance, covered in yellow paint and black glitter (which had been meant for Cass, but honestly, it fit Duke quite well), though he was.

“Good, now we just have to wait for Steph,” Tim remarked, rolling his eyes.

Duke frowned. “What about Cass? She’s here too.”

Everyone gave Duke a weird look. “Uh, no she isn’t. She’s been hanging out with Selina and Babs all weekend.”

“Then your intel is wrong,” Duke countered. “She was just here! I planned on her being here!”

The silence in the room was palpable. Before, where there had been bickering and accusations, the quiet had taken over. Everyone stared at Duke with suspicion in their eyes.

Finally, Duke thought, sighing in relief.

Bruce opened his mouth about to question Duke’s statement when the doors to the room banged open.

“What’s up, Bitches? The Waffle Queen has arrived and looks as fabulous as ever!”

Duke stared, completely amazed that she actually seemed to like the purple on purple combo Duke had picked for her. Oh, yeah, now that he thought about it made perfect sense that Steph was the only one to like this.

“Wow, whoever did this really got my colors right!" Steph continued as she waltzed in and posed in front of everyone, her hip cocked and arm thrown up dramatically.

Bruce’s eyes narrowed, and he began to growl at her. “This is not funny.”

Steph pouted. “What do you mean? I sure think it is!”

Oh boy, she didn’t notice she was digging her own grave, did she? From the looks of the other bats, they shared Duke’s sentiment.

“Stephanie Brown, are you saying what I think you’re saying?”

Stephanie smirked. “Yup! I look way better than you, you old fur- hey wait! Are you blaming me ?!”

Bruce glared even harder, and Stephanie started to protest, claiming that she was but an innocent victim of these pain-filled proceedings! It was not her fault! Nor was it her fault that she happened to get colors that she liked better than everyone else.

Bruce refused to hear what she said, and told her to go get changed. “You will be cleaning up this whole mess, and no patrolling until it’s done.”

Bruce turned and stalked out, and Steph was left speechless - for once - in the hall. She backed away, seeing the angry stares from the others. The only one who didn’t seem mad at her, was Duke himself. He opened his eyes wide, conveying pity. “I’m sorry,” he mouthed silently.

Instead of being reassuring, however, Steph squinted in suspicion. Oh shit, that probably hadn’t been the best move.

Just moments after Steph left, Jason threw up his hands. “Okay, who wants to have a water gun fight to clean off?”

There were several cheers of assent, but Duke quickly made his own escape at that time. He honestly wasn’t in the mood to get splashed in the face with water. Now was not the time for fun, as the failed prank still hung over him.

Now was the time for plotting.

*****

“Okay, but why on earth do you have a fully functioning sprinkler system in every room?”

“Yeah, Bruce, even for you that’s paranoid! What caused you to think that was necessary?”

“You.”

[jinterlude]

Mik’s Follow Forever

↳ Resource Credits: Seokjin | Floral PNG 

Hi and hello everyone! Wow. Can we just take a moment to appreciate that we survived the shit storm that is 2020? Ranging from the pandemic to politics to social injustice happening around the world, we manage to stay resilience to the say the least. With that said, I wanted to finally acknowledged that I hit a big milestone as of November (?) or was it September (?) [I don’t even know anymore LOL😂]! Before I get into my letters underneath this cut, I wanted to say from the bottom of my heart, thank you so much for following me! Even though, I post once in a blue moon, and my blog is run on queue 24/7, you still hit that follow button! For that, thank you so much for giving my blog a chance, whether it’s for the multi-fandom content I reblog or my very own creations, something made you stay 💙 Alright let’s get to the personal letters 💌 

To Jey @softjeon : 

Jey. Honestly, where do I begin with you? The End. Just kidding! Damn. I can’t believe you’re one of my oldest friend on this website. We have had our ups and downs, but our friendship always manages to come out strong in the end. You and I always manage to be on the same wavelength in terms of story telling, talking about everything and anything, or just shooting some random ass, extreme ideas that manage to go to the WIP pile in our brains. While, we do not talk as frequently as we used to (I blame school + internship on that part), I just know that I can always go to your DMs whenever I need someone to talk to or if I want to randomly bug you. You my hardworking queen is a force to reckon with, and I am forever in awe of your work ethics. Like who can simultaneously run 20+ blogs? You. That’s who. Granted, knowing you, there’s some tears and sweat (mainly tears with that), but the finished product is worth it in the end. I honestly can’t wait for the day when we have our own apartment, and we can just sit in silence in our living room couch with our fur babies. Can’t wait to see what 2021 has in store for you and know that I’m cheering you on every step of the way (whether it is in silence or vocally). Love you, Queen Jey! 

Signed, 

Your first wife, Kimi 

p.s. thank you for giving/helping me with the idea of creating KWW and creating our seasonal themed headers (all while promoting girl groups)! Seriously, thank you for being and staying in my life. T-T

To my fellow BHQ Admin/Mod Team [ @chillingkoo @/guktro @mygsii @dee-ehn @nightowls388 @yoonqiful @taerseok   @btsxdoll @minloop @namluve ​ ]: 

What can I say except this is an amazing team to be part of in terms of Networks? The Head Admins Vivi, Gray, & Renae are like the board of directors that help make sure that the operation runs smoothly. Then, us Admins (Danica, myself, & Daria) are like the VP’s followed by the amazing Mods (Beezy, Penelope, Daija, & Dani) are the Supervisors/Managers of each division. What I am going with this business analogy is that BHQ is nothing without the amazing team members that make up the network, and I am grateful to be part of a cohesive team where I truly felt like I was with Gray since the beginning of the network establishment. It is thanks to this network (BHQ) that I learned how to run my own network more smoothly and professionally. I can’t wait to see what 2021 has in store for BHQ. Thank you for being amazing and wonderful people and just being a rock for the members during the major events that occurred throughout this year. You’re the best! 

- Mik

To my fellow KWW Admin/Mod Team [ @queen-of-himbos​ @atiny-piratequeen​ @sugarcookiesandsins​ @meraki-mark​ @samuelkimz​ ]: 

First, can I say to the fellow admins, thank you for keeping me sane and helping me run this network while I was swamped with school + internship. Forever grateful of both you (Kes) and Fie for being a driving force and keeping the network afloat while I focused on my school work. It is no secret that I had confrontation, so I’m thankful that either Kes or Fie agrees to being the enforcer and messages someone for me T-T Also, Kes, thank you so much for taking over the coding/member page for me all while still doing the queue. I can never say this enough, but thank you for doing that. Fie, thank you for lightly slapping me and keeping me sane whenever I feel quick to jump the gun. You are there to help me see reason and point out things that I overlook a lot. (This is why I have Jey too lol) To my wonderful Queue-tie Pies! Thank you so much for dedicating a few hours out of your day to add content to the queue and keeping our blog alive! KWW is nothing without you amazing mods. I hope you all know that! Let’s kick butt together in 2021!

- Admin Mik 

To my fellow supportive and loving SIMPS [ @ppersonna​ @jinned​ @sunkissedjk​ @hongism​ @monotape​ @wintertae​ @dreamyhan​ @koophoriia​ @j-sope​ ]: 

First of all, how are you doing on this lovely Wednesday (well it’s Wednesday when I wrote & posted this lol)? I hope each and every one of you are doing fine! I feel bad that I haven’t been in touch lately uwu but I do silently stalk/lurk on the Bangtan University discord server or on your personal blogs (totally not weird whatsoever). I hope you all had a wonderful holiday! Now, simply put, I want to say that I’m thankful that you all came into my life this year. In some shape or form, you made my 2020 incredibly bright and filled with so much inspiration and passion for writing that I honestly believed that I would not get back. Whether it is by joining a collab with you all, simply talking about ideas or just in general, or even screaming about potential AUs, you made me want to write again. For that, I am extremely appreciative of it and know that I will forever be a silent cheerleader for you all! 2021 will be the year I invade your ask box a lot more and just scream how much I love you all! You are all rays of sunshine on this website!

- Owner of Mikdonalds, home of the famous Mikimchi

To Kat @yeoldontknow​ & Sarah @yehet-me-up​: 

First, long time and no talk! How are my resident EXO wives doing? Are Chanyeol and Junmyeon treating you ladies well? I hope so! Anyway, I honestly can’t not include you two ladies in my Holiday thank you post because how can I not include the two authors I look up to the most on this website. With how you write your characters, the scenery, background information on the reader/OC, you just leave me completely speech less whenever I finish reading your works. Ah, I might start tearing up as I write this section because I just can’t thank God or fate enough for allowing me to meet two of the most beautiful souls on this website. While we do not talk as frequently as we used to, I wanted to let you both know that I hope you had a wonderful Holiday! Whatever 2021 has in store for you both, just know that you have a silent cheerleader in good old CA! 

- Mrs. Kim Kim 

To every single one of my followers (mutuals or not): 

From the bottom of my heart, thank you so much, again, for following me and just staying with me. For my newly established mutuals, I can’t wait to talk and get to know you all in 2021! Granted, I suck at talking and keeping the conversation going, so I apologize for that. I promise I will be better!! I want more friends, okay! T-T 

Anywho...

TLDR: Let’s kick butt together in 2021! Also, I’m establishing my New Year Goal of that I will become more consistent of writing + posting content. Instead of once every blue moon, it will be once every full moon. See? That’s doable, right? Right?!

- Mik